MB (who I listed earlier in the list) went to Nac this week for a few weeks. She and I have been talking about good times at SFA lately... so in lieu of all of that, let's take some time to be thankful for SFA memories

A lot of these people, sadly, I do not keep in touch with anymore. Even still, they made an impact on my life, which I am thankful for.

0160- Sarah Pierson- one of the first people I met at SFA. She took me in immediately and was one of my best friends during my time at SFA.

0161- Allie Brill - what a hoot! Her sweet spirit never went unnoticed. And her heart for others is inspiring.

0162- Kodee (Zachariah) Roraback - I was often envious of her care free attitude! She was always so kind.

0163 - Sam Hughes - He had a heart as big as the planet. I loved nothing more than to sit down with him and talk for hours.

0164 - Zach Wood - Talk about a character. His witty remarks could make me smile on the worst days.

0165- Landon Sandy - I haven't talked to that kid in a couple of years probably. But I feel like I owe a lot to him. He and I were Care Group partners my sophmore year. He burst my little Christian bubble REAL quick, which I am very thankful for.

0166- Sean Massengale - Another one I haven't talked to in a couple of years - but I had plenty of good times with him

0167 - Caleb Canter - Who wouldn't want to marry that guy...seriously

0168- Lauren Radtke - One of my dearest friends the last couple of years. Her quiet attitude did not go unnoticed. She may be a few years younger than me, but she spoke plenty of wisdom into my life. I miss her

0169 - Clay Stephens- Man I miss that guy. He is another one that could cheer anyone up on the crappiest of days.

0170- Lerin - I really got to know her my last year, and I regret not taking the opportunity sooner.

0171- Erinne - WHO DOESN'T LOVE THAT GIRL! Good times are always had with her

0172- Kyle Worsham - He's another one that I could sit and talk with for hours...and did.

0173- Terell - What a beautiful and fun lady!

0174- Covin - I have no words

0175 - Alexis - I see her as being so wise! I wish we could have been better friends

0176- Rob Ramsey - The nights spent at the 431 are countless, as are the good times had with this guy

0177 - Shawn Berry - I never knew him THAT well, but I remember a few times, he would call out of the blue, just to see how I was doing. What a nice guy

0178- Keith Dailey- Though we haven't spoken since probably my junior year, I can't talk about SFA without mentioning him. My freshmen and sophomore year were filled with many good times with this guy.

0179- Bryant Davis- We were off-and-on friends... by both of our admissions. But he is always so much fun to hang out with. I loved my senior year when he would come over, we would watch a movie, then take Belle on a walk.


That's it for now... maybe more later..

You've missed me...haven't you? Christmas has kept me busy. But lo and behold, I return.

0146 - Jesus - total understatement...but how amazing that God came down to OUR level so WE could be saved

0147- Dinner with Joel and Erica - Liz and I went over to their house last week. It was such a sweet time of catching up. I love them...and their kids

0148- MY SEWING MACHINE! - that's right.... I got a sewing machine for Christmas...and I'm officially obsessed now

0149 - a WHOLE WEEK with Liz- Last week was amazing.. getting to hang out with her everyday!

0150 - My dad's (fairly) new job as a bus driver - He is a different person now.... in a good way

0151 - Heidi taking time to show me how to use my sewing machine!

0152 - Sweet times hanging out with my mom

0153 - Old school friends get-togethers- We make a point each Christmas to all get together. For some of us, it is the one time a year we see each other, but it's always great.

0154- HANNAH AND ELISHA GOT ENGAGED!!!

0155- I talked to Lindsay on Christmas Eve- I always love talking with her....on the other side of the world

0156- FREE SEWING PATTERNS ONLINE!! YAY!!!

0157 - I got to talk to Zach Wood today- Gosh I love that kid. Plus, now I can say that I know someone that works for the Discovery Channel!

0158- White chocolate mochas from Starbucks- it's a rare luxury, but truly loved

0159- A night out with Maribeth and Liz Rodriguez - much needed and fun

It's been a week... and don't deny it...you have missed me. So here we go...

0121 - Firefox's tabs. It's a genius idea and I love it.

0122- Music - It has such a powerful way of speaking to the depths of my soul.

0123- Kevin Wooley - He gave me the (last minute) opportunity to sing a solo at church this morning! I was so nervous that I thought I was going to pee my pants and pass out at the same time, but it was good.

0124 - My FAMILY - I know I have mentioned them before, but they drove to sulphur springs in the wee hours this morning to hear me sing and that meant a lot

0125- The Lottie Moon Post Office at good ol SGBC - it raises money for missions and it is just so fun!

0126- MY PARENTS FINALLY PUT A TV IN MY ROOM BACK HOME!!!

0127- One last week with Amy- we went to Cicis, braums, watched a movie and just hung out for one last week

0128 - Words with Friends- I'm obsessed

0129 - Certain Dri - what can I say? I sweat... but this has worked WONDERS!

0130 - Bruce Welch - He answers many of my questions...both silly and serious

0131- Chris Sammons - Can't talk about answers to questions without mentioning Sammons. I can't even begin to add up the hours spent at the BSM talking with him about whatever was on my mind.

0132- Laughter- It has to be the medicine of the soul

0133 - Hats- such an easy way to get on with my day when I don't feel like taming my hair

0134- My Ipod tape deck in my car - with no radio, it's nice to keep the music going

0135 - Lindsay - my roommate from college - I learned so much from her and her friendship has meant so much to me.

0136- my ability to knit - it makes for cheap and relatively easy christmas gifts

0137 - Email - I check mine obsessively

0138 - Gorilla Glue - I just discovered it and I am already in love

0139 - Go Now Missions - What an awesome opportunity for college students to go on short term missions projects...and all set up by the Go Now team

0140 - Brenda Sanders- my mastermind behind Go Now... seriously, shes amazing

0141- Fabric Softener- I know I am spoiled, but I can't imagine what clothes would feel like without fabric softener

0142 - Belle- MY dog. Make no mistake, though she lives with my parents, she is MINE. I walk in the door and she FREAKS out because she is so excited to see me. I could be having the crappiest day, but she makes it all okay

0143 - Sunday night family dinners - some families from church (FBCSS) get together each Sunday night for dinner after church. This is one of my most favorite times of the week.

0144 - Larry Hughes- I love that man

0145- TWO WEEKS OFF!!!

0101 - The Dove commercials - they make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside

0102 - Slumber parties with MB - nothing is greater than sitting in your PJs chatting it up

0103 - Katy Reed - Spending a couple of days with her at the intern retreat made me realize what a cool girl she is.

0104- Katie (McGowan) Gravens - I don't know if she realizes the impact she has made on my life.

0105 - Sleep aid - I have been having trouble sleeping lately. But my sleep medicine is a God-send

0106 - The Intern Retreat- seriously... get us together and we get pretty mischievous. But I haven't laughed that hard in a LONG time.

0107 - The Notes application on my iPod - seriously... my life is on there

0108 - Team Tweeterphone - we dominated at EVERY GAME at the intern retreat..WHILE tweeting

0109 - Words with Friends - one of the latest games I downloaded on my ipod...and I am officially obsessed.

0110 - Glee Thursdays with Amy - Glee is over this season, and Amy is leaving this week... but for this semester, I always looked forward to watching Glee on Thursdays with her

0111 - Dr. Anderson - Today is his last day at FBC Sulphur Springs. His love for sharing Christ is awesome

0112 - My awesome brother, Bubba - he drives me crazy sometimes, but he does so much for me! (He did my laundry while I was at my retreat, then put my new license plates on!)

0113 - The search committee at church - For the past 18 months, they have been looking so hard for a new pastor, and Pastor Mark comes next week!

0114 - Adam and Suzie Hailes - They are living the Gospel...and are such an inspiration to me and so many others.

0115 - Cheryl - She is such an amazing example to me. And she listens to me time after time.

0116 - Brittany and Jeananne's tough questions - These two girls are always asking some pretty hard questions. But I love it. Because it challenges me.

0117 - Tupperware - 'nough said

0118 - My thick hair - I know sometimes I get frustrated with it, but I do appreciate that it's thick... I never have to worry about going bald!

0119 - Zumba - what a fun way to work out!

0120 - BSM Sleeping bags- I don't really know where they came from, but I can appreciate that there are sleeping bags that stay at the BSM...because I don't have one of my own, so I always use one of the BSM's

0081 - Joel Halpin - Joel has played a huge part in my spiritual life. He has been there to answer my random tough questions, encourage me, and just be a friend.

0082 - Jeremy McMahan - I remember vividly on a Wednesday night when we were sitting around after youth and he asked what I thought about Jesus. That was the start of my journey to Christ.

0083 - Free wifi- Seriously, if it wasn't for free wifi, I would want to cry during MANY meetings

0084 - Erica Halpin - I have watched her for many years and I have learned so much, like what a true Godly wife and mother looks like.

0085 - Deoderent - Really? Do I need to explain this one?

0086 - Jeananne's love for Scripture - The way she wants to REALLY dig in challenges me

0087 - Truett Cathy (Mr. Chik Fila) - There will no doubt be ChikFila in heaven

0088 - My Sunday school class for adopting a family - This is my second year with this class, and both years we have adopted a family to support at Christmas... I love it

0089 - The Christmas spirit - I love it... it just makes everything else better

0090 - Karmen Holland - She has been so kind to me, I cannot even begin to thank her enough

0091 - Brynette - My NEW MENTOR!! We met for the first time this week, and I am SO EXCITED to learn from her

0095- Ashleigh Inskeep - her heart for ministry is INCREDIBLE

0096 - Miss Campbell - My third grade teacher. She made me LOVE learning AND teaching

0097 - Clearance paint at Wal Mart - for a beginning crafter like myself, it is AMAZING

0098 - The Armstrongs and Litzlers - It was just brought to my attn that these two couples have expressed an interest to expand the college ministry at our church. We are meeting next week to talk about it and I am VERY excited.

0099 - Roy Smith - This man has my heart. Even if he is 83. He has such a heart for the Word and for sharing it ALL OVER THE WORLD! Seriously! He is in Siberia right now!

0100 - I AM A TENTH OF THE WAY DONE!!!

This week we have had our Leadership Team Christmas Party and our Christmas Banquet at the BSM... so I thought I'd share how I am thankful for each student on leadership team...

0071 - Katy Trela - She does a great job as President. She keeps LT focused and motivated.

0072 - Ashley Smith - her tender heart is something to be admired. She has such a servant's heart and attitude.

0073 - Bryce Burk - It's no secret that Bryce and I don't see eye to eye on much of anything... but I am very thankful that he is so adamant about his faith. And his ability to connect with international students is amazing.

0074 - Becky Burk - She does so well doing the "behind the scenes" stuff... and doesn't require recognition for it.

0075 - Heather Bowshier - Her love for the freedom in Christ is compelling. She has grown to mean so much to me.

0076 - Joanna Firth - One of the most independent people I know, but knows that she is nothing without Christ. And she connects with people in an incredible way.

0077 - Danny Sanders- I have LOVED getting to know him this semester. His passion for the Gospel is contagious. He GETS it. I don't know how else to say it.

0078 - Jared Horn - No doubt one of the most headstrong people I have ever met. His passion for internationals is very desirable. And he does a lot of the necessary work that noone really notices. Like tonight, after the banquet, he worked so hard to clean up....I appreciate that.

0079 - Lisa Mebane - that girl is a MESS! But I love her to pieces. I have LOVED getting to know her this semester. Her heart to truly KNOW Christ and make Him known leaves me speechless at times. Plus she's just hilarious

0080 - Andrew Hackler - No doubt the most servant hearted person on LT. I know I ask him to do a LOT, but he never complains. In fact, there are many times that he sees me doing something and comes and asks if he can do it. (Like tonight, I was putting trash bags back in the trash cans, and he just came and took the trash bags out of my hands and finished it for me) He is going to be one heck of a leader one day, as he is already showing great promise now.

0052 - My mom- she is one amazing lady. I hope I'm as cool of a mom as she is.

0053 - Random sleepovers with Amy - her house was full and cold last night...so she came over to stay the night...I felt like I was in 8th grade all over again

0054 - FBC Commerce- For allowing us to host a free babysitting night at their church last night!

0055 - The humor of 4 year olds - Why is it that EVERYTHING that comes out of their mouths is SO funny!

0056 - Lisa Mebane's southern twang - Seriously- I just hear her voice and it makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.

0057 - My web cam - Because of it, I was able to skype with Vanessa today and show her my apt!

0058 - Starbucks Vanilla Double Shots - They sell them at Wal-mart.... I'd be lost on early mornings without them.

0059 - The coffee bar at church - I always look forward to Sunday mornings when I can go get a cup of coffee from the coffee bar at church, doctor it up with sweet goodness, then enjoy it during Sunday school

0060 - Cruise control - The cruise control on my car has been out for the past few years and let me tell you, you don't realize how awesome it is til its gone.

0061 - Morning Scriptures that Maribeth texts me - it seems that many times, she has read my heart and sent the Scripture that I needed in that moment.

0062 - Modern day medicine - It is modern day medicine that is treating Vanessa, so I am VERY grateful to it.

0063 - Lindsay Palmer - Vanessa's sister. She was a bone marrow match and gave bone marrow to Vanessa (through a not-so-hot procedure)

0064 - SNL - Call me a sinner, but I love it

0065 - My pumice stone - Since giving up pedicures to sponsor another Compassion child, my feet look like Fred Flinstone feet. (And I'm WAY conscious about my feet anyways) - but thanks to my pumice stone, I can keep it under control

0066 - Lindsay, my roommate from college - I can't imagine what my last two years of college would have been like without her. She became a dear friend during that time. And I pray for her everyday as she serves in South Asia!

0067 - The BSM - seriously...it was the Lord working through the BSM at SFA that caused me to grow so much in my faith while in college. Now I get the privelege of seeing Him use the ministry of the BSM to push others towards Him

0068 - Hot water - Do you realize how blessed we are to have hot running water?

0069 - Spagehtti-Os - I mean really, when you are living on your own and you are broke so you can't go buy dinner, do you know how hard it is to cook a meal for just one? That's why I choose spaghetti-os

0070 - I'm thankful that I'm being challenged to come up with 1001 things I am thankful for. I have realized in the last few days how hard it is to come up with things that I am NOT thankful for. It has been nice to sit down and reflect on things I SHOULD be thankful for.

a special 51st

0051 - Liz Brown - my best friend of over 10 years. I could go on and on about her. And I will. In fact, today, I will just list how I am thankful for my dearest Liz. This week, I have grown to love her even more. She has had to deal with immense tragedy and heartache this past week. She lost someone very dear to her in a terrible way. But when I checked my mail this week, guess what I got? A card from her telling me how she is praying for me during this time when I miss Margaret. SHE WAS CONSOLING ME!

There's more...

She calls me this morning. Mind you, the funeral for Thomas Young was yesterday. So I wake up this morning to Liz calling me. I asked how the day went and all, then casually ask what she's doing (she sounded so chipper for it to be early). She said she was going to spend the day with Vanessa. Vanessa is a friend of ours from high school that is in Houston at M D Anderson getting chemo, only after receiving a bone marrow tranfusion last week. (please keep Vanessa in your prayers!) Today was the day Vanessa had to shave her head and Liz was going to be there with her. She said she wanted to "love her and hold her hand."

HOW SELFLESS CAN THIS GIRL BE??

All week, I have been bragging to everyone at the BSM about MY best friend. I am sure they are all tired of hearing how awesome Liz is after this week. But seriously, I am humbled to even know Liz.



And these are only a COUPLE of the OH SO MANY reasons I am eternally grateful to Liz.

0026 - Worship- Tonight we had all worship at the BSM... amazing

0027 - Band-aids - I cut the CRAP out of my finger today.... thank goodness I had a band-aid handy!

0028- My bed - I have had this bed for a LONG time...but I LOVE it

0029 - Tim Armstrong, Doug Boney, and good ol' Aravind - they came over today to help me decorate for Christmas (granted, I came home tonight and re-did some of it!)

0030 - Vaseline - i put it on my cuticles every night before going to bed. Besides making a big mess, it is much needed during this time of the year

0031 - Twitter - I was so against it for so long, but now, i LOVE it

0032 - The smell of cinnamon - I don't know what it is, but the smell of cinnamon makes me smile

0033 - Whoever thought of the rewards system on Chase Debit cards - seriously.... I'm MAKING money by SPENDING money!

0034 - The joy I get from wrapping Christmas presents - it makes me all giddy inside. I think about what each person's face will look like when they open the gift

0035 - Christmas songs, before they get overplayed - I love this time of the year, when Thanksgiving is barely behind us and Christmas songs are just starting to be played on the radio- once you hear that dumb Chipmunk Christmas song for the 139487387th time, you want to shoot your eye out with a Red Rider gun

0036 - The good people at Hulu - for allowing me and Amy to have "Glee Thursdays" in the office

0037 - Wireless internet - Seriously........ who would have thought 10 years ago that I could watch Grey's on my laptop in the living room while wrapping presents, then bring it back to my room while I lie down?

0038 - Friday morning coffee dates with Hannah - 'nough said

0039 - My iTouch - Not only do I play on it when I'm bored, but I keep my grocery list, my Christmas list, my to do list, and my calendar on there

0040- The moments when you are singing a worship song and one line just really resonates with you... and you just keep singing that one line in your head over and over - as if it was written just for you

0041 - COUPONS - Now I am not nearly as bad as my mom, but I can appreciate a good coupon!

0042 - God providing for my family - the past year has been rough....no sense in lying. But I look back and see how much God has provided for us, in so many ways

0043 - The Communities in Schools people- I mentored a girl all last year and a little this fall (before she dropped out because she got pregnant- guess i failed there!) but I started with a new mentee today.... and I really do appreciate what the CIS people do.

0044 - Nate Smith - he led our night of all worship tonight and he did an awesome job. Towards the end, he directed the students to take some time and pray for the campus. It was a special time.

0045 - Baptism - I was just thinking back to the special baptism service we had a few weeks ago at church and how awesome that was.

My friend Alexis is listing off 1001 things that she is thankful for! Over the past few days of reading her posts, I have been inspired to do the same...so here we go!


0001 - Heating- though I am not a cold natured person, I DO appreciate the heater being turned on when its cold!

0002- My apartment - I love that I live alone and I can do what I want when I want

0003- My family- they drive me crazy sometimes, but I would be so lost without them

0004 - Shoes - we take shoes for granted often, but TOMS has really opened my eyes in this regard

0005- Running water- i LOVE taking hot showers, and not everyone can do that

0006- My car, Gina - she may be old and she may be ugly, but by golly she gets me from point A to point B

0007 - My AWESOME friends- collectively, they are an incredible group of people that i am lucky to know

0008 - My job- i LOVE doing college ministry.

0009 - Craft blogs - my latest obsession. I print out so many projects and put them in my "to attempt" folder

0010- Goodwill- i can't mention craft blogs without mentioning Goodwill. So many of my craft-y attempts wouldn't be possible without Goodwill

0011- My straightener- ok, this may sound petty...but my straightener is the bomb.com...and my hair is wild...trust me, you WANT me to straighten my hair

0012 - Facebook- it helps me keep up with old friends, new friends, and ex-roommates that live on the other side of the world!

0013- The postal service- speaking of friends on the other side of the world, I am thankful that we have a postal service that allows me to send packages to the other side of the world.

0014 - Dollar Stores - enough said

0015 - Wednesday afternoons - I LOVE sitting down with Brittany and Jeananne and digging into the Word.

0016- My dishwasher- I am BEYOND thankful that I don't have to hand wash all of my dishes

0017- Texting - I texted all day everyday.

0018 - Chapstick- at this time of the year, I use it constantly

0019 - Heather, Ashley, and Brittany - they all came over at some point over the past two days to help me bake for my bake sale

0020- My WOM group - we all came together tonight and baked all kinds of stuff to sale..and made over 500 BUCKS! and it will all go to missions!

0021 - Spray paint - this goes along with my crafting...but it must be known, I spray paint EVERYTHING

0022 - Amy Hastings - over the past few months, she has become a good friend...someone I share a lot of good times and bad times with...I'm gonna miss her! (Plus she loves Goodwill too!)

0023 - Whoever puts Grey's Anatomy online - I'm obsessed. It's embarrassing how much Grey's I watch.

0024 - Gas prices - I paid 2.34 per gallon today. It's not ideal...but it's way better than the 4 bucks it was a couple of summers ago.

0025 - Razors - I HATE stubbly legs. I will get up in the middle of the night to shave just so I can sleep better... God Bless Mr Bic

Pray for the Sanctuary Fellowship

The following is an email I got from Liz regarding the devastating situation that has played out at her church, the Sanctuary Fellowship. I share it with you so you can know how to pray for the family, for the church, and for God to be glorified in this.


Dear Friends,


I wanted to write and ask you for your prayers. My pastor, Thomas Young, died Friday evening. As a friend, I covet your prayers. Pray for his wife, Erin, and their 3 children specifically Morgan(15), Graham(12), & Claudia(10). As you can imagine they are in intense pain. Pray for healing and understanding for the church members. Pray that Gods unending love is on the forefront of all our minds, that is all we really have. Pray for the staff as we make arrangements for the funeral and continue to lead The Sanctuary without our leader. Pray as friends and family of this man come to reconcile this with God. May our doubts and heartache lead to us knowing of God's suffering more.

We, as a church, have been OVERWHELMED by the graciousness of the churches and church leaders in Houston and around the US. We are blessed to be a part of a network of believes who know the body of Christ is not one group of people gathering in a building. The love of God is being poured over us throughout this time. Thank you for your words of encouragement and lifting up the family, friends, and our church members in your prayers. Check out the website, there are details posted and more to come. www.thesanctuaryfellowship.com Thank you, thank you, thank you!

The past is prologue,
Liz

Ministry Assistant
thesanctuaryfellowship.com

If you know me at all, you know I am obsessed with reading various blogs. Most authors of the blogs I read, I have never met and probably never will. One of my favorites is Ragamuffin Soul.

On today's post, Los, the author, posted a video from his time in Uganda will Compassion International. It shows Shannon, an American woman, meeting her sponsored child, Nukonga (I think). Shannon meets her child and throws her arms around him. It is beautiful. I cried.

Liz asked what I was watching and after I told her she said , "You should do that." (I sponsor a child in Tanzania. He just turned five and his name is Minifu. He is gorgeous. Maybe I could post a pic of him soon!)

My first reaction- "I can't. It would break my heart to love them and have to leave them there."

How embarrassing and terrible that this is my first reaction. I am more concerned with how it would make ME feel. When I get honest, in that moment, I would rather keep Minifu at a safe distance, as a picture on a postcard and an occassional letter than a real child.

But this is a real child.

200 POSTS!!!

I am here in Houston with Liz. I have heard so much about her church and her life group for so long, I was excited to get to experience it today.

Tonight, we were about to start the Bible study with her life group when they announced that one guy, Kenny, accepted Christ two weeks ago. HOORAY!!! Everyone was all excited about it (as they should be)! Someone asked Kenny if he had anything that he wanted to share. Kenny said something that was SO right, SO true, SO real. He said that now, he says that is now living on the "other side of the world." He realized that it was real, that it was genuine, and that it was something he needed. But that it was going to bring change. But he likes living on the "other side of the world."

The other side of the world...

So I've been on a hiatus...

...but I'm back...for now

It's the start of a new semester and it's been crazy already! Though it is absolutely exhausting, I LOVE the start of a new semester. All the excitement and anxiety is thrilling!

I decided to spend Labor Day in Houston, with Liz. It has been so good! I went to her church today, which I had been anticipating for a while. They were doing Communion. It was probably the most meaningful Communion service I have ever been a part of.

But one thing really stuck out. The pastor said at one point, "Some of us think that God got a deal when we became believers." I was like WHOA! How many times do I think that? How many times have I thought that God was awfully lucky to have me on His team.

Just a thought...

I recently read Tony Campolo's book "Letter to a Young Evangelical." He mentioned something in the book that has been stuck in my mind for quite some time now.

"I once heard a story from a young English evangelist. He told me about the day Charlie Peace, a well-known criminal in London, was hanged - February 25, 1879. The Anglican Church, which had a ceremony for nearly everything, even had a ceremony for hangings. So, when Charlie Peace was marched to the gallows, a priest walked behind him and said these words from a prayer book: 'Those who die without Christ experience Hell, which is the pain of forever dying without the release which death itself can bring.'
When these chilling words were read, Charlie Peace stopped in his tracks, turned to the priest, and shouted in his face, 'Do you believe that? Do you believe that?'
The priest, taken aback by this sudden verbal assault, stammered for a moment and then said, 'Well....I...suppose I do.'
'Well I don't,' said Charlie. 'But if I did, I'd get down on my hands and knees and crawl all over Great Britain, even if it were paved with pieces of broken glass, if I could just rescue one person from what you just told me.'"


I can't help but question if I would be willing to do that. No..not "would be..." More like "AM I willing to do this?"

How rich are you? >> I'm loaded. It's official. I'm the 624,392,883 richest person on earth!

This may seem like I'm pretty poor... But this puts me in the top 10.4% richest people in the world!

I had a bit of a personal revelation the other day.

I'm not going to lie.... it's been a bit of a rough year. I feel like things have been a constant rollercoaster. It is even more difficult when OTHER people make comments like, "You know, you really have had a crappy hand lately," or "Don't you just wish God would let up a bit?"

My gut instinct... YES!! Yes it has been kinda hard...YES I do sometimes wish God would let up.

But that's when my "AH-HA" moment came to me.

It's so easy to think that we somehow DESERVE to have it easy or good for a bit of time. I have cried out to the Lord before, begging for life to be easy before. But then I realized, what would be a sufficient amount of time for things to be good? At what point would I be able to turn to God and say, "Ok...you have given me what I deserve. NOW you can give me the tough stuff."

Let's say I thought I deserved six months of an easy life. And after that six months, God threw some curve balls my way. After I made it through that, I would probably ask God for more "easy time" next time. Maybe I would think I deserved eight months.

I am pretty sure that my selfish nature would cause me to keep asking for more time...no...asking is too nice... I would keep DEMANDING more "easy" time.

What gives us the audacity to think we DESERVE an easy life? Where do I come off thinking that?

I have been wrestling with this thought process for the past week.... just thought I'd share.

Saw this on another blog I read...It's definitely worth repeating...

This is Rolling Hills Baptist Church, Fayetteville, GA’s web banner on their website www.wheresthesteeple.org
Not the sexiest thing we have ever seen.
And you know what?
Who cares?

Rolling Hills Baptist Church, Fayetteville, GA
Their building and property is worth over 1.1 million dollars.
The church has a nice facility that is almost paid off.
The church owes less than one hundred thousand dollars.
The church has 1 million in equity.
The church has many families who have lost their homes and jobs.
The community is one that could use resources and money to help families in need.
The pastor and his congregation have decided to sell the church building and property to take care of his members and put roofs over peoples heads instead of their own on Sunday.

On October 5, 2008, the members of Rolling Hills voted overwhelmingly in favor of joining GOD in His redemptive work by selling her buildings and property, and using the proceeds to increase ministry and mission efforts in our community and beyond.

They are looking to lease a movie theater or something after the property sells.
Other churches have offered their facilities.
This is the church at work.
Pastor Frank is my new hero.
Bravo to you for doing what you most would never do.
Bravo for you for following in obedience.
May God bless you and your church richly.

This is the most backwardly beautiful thing I have seen a church do in a while.
I can only imagine what could happen if this became a trend.

While in Vienna, I had the most interesting opportunity I have EVER had to share about the grace that Christ offers.

Klaudia, our new friend who translated for us during the first week of camp, had my team over for dinner one evening towards the end of our stay in Austria. I knew a little of Klaudia's story, that she had grown up in the Catholic church (as most do in Austria). It was just a few years ago when someone explained to her what a relationship with Christ is about. Since then, she has turned her life over to the Lord. Her husband, Michael, was also raised in the Catholic church, but is still unsure about an actual relationship with Christ.

After dinner, we were sitting in their living room just chatting. Klaudia turned to me and said, "I have a question. I told Michael I would ask this."

I froze. I had no idea what it could possibly be. Questions and doubts about the Bible, Christ, Hell, and everything in between ran through my mind.

What came next was never expected.

"The death penalty... "

Wait... did she just bring up the death penalty?

I DEFINITELY wasn't prepared for this.

"In Europe, that may the most common idea of Texas, that you issue the death penalty. It has been outlawed here for quite some time. What do you think about it? How can a 'Christian' nation advocate this, especially in the 'Bible belt?"

WHOA...

I had to take a second and think about it. I didn't stop to contemplate my view on this touchy subject, but more so on who was listening. There was Klaudia, a well-educated woman fairly new in Christ. I had my team of five girls, all Texans (or close to it) who were, for the most part, just as shocked as I was at the topic. And there was also Michael, quietly listening in the back.

How can I say this without stepping on toes? I am completely confident that the Lord took over. I had an immediate peace and words just came.

I think I said something like this... "You are right in that most Texans support the death penalty. In fact, that is how I was raised. I am pretty sure that everyone else in my family still supports it. Heck, when I was a freshmen in college (in my naiveity) I did a speech in a class on the reasons to support the death penalty. But now, I do NOT support the death penalty."

You should have seen the looks on the faces of everyone in the room.

I continued. "It wasn't until just a couple of years ago that I really started to think about it. And it was only when it was put in my face and I was forced to read about it in the Scriptures and in various other books. You see, in Texas, we aren't taught that most other civilized countries have abolished this practice. I didn't know this until recently, when I found it for myself."

I proceeded to make the bold statement that it is my personal belief that if Jesus were here today, he wouldn't support the death penalty. I can't help but think of John 8, when the Pharisees and scribes brought a woman who was caught in adultery to Jesus. Jewish law said that this woman should be stoned to death. But Jesus replied with "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."

Jesus took a situation that CALLED FOR the death penalty and showed his grace.

I was able to share about what grace is, and how it has affected me.

I also had to admit that if it were my loved one that had been killed by a murderer, the thought would probably cross my mind that this person should be put on death row. But what good would that do? Would it really make me feel better knowing that another person has died? Would I be exuding the love and grace of Christ?

The evening wrapped up and we all went our seperate ways. But this instance keeps coming back to mind. I repeat my words (what I can remember) in my head over and over throughout the day. And I can't think of any part of it that the Lord wasn't a part of.

I pray that this plants a seed. Not just in Michael, as he continues searching, but in all that were there. I pray that we would all continue to search Scripture and hold it up to our lives, to see if we are truly living it out, or if we are just talking about it.

Where have the past two weeks gone? This time tomorrow, I will be a few hours away from touching down in Dallas!

This week was a rough one! To say the kids were different from last week would be a TOTAL understatement. I ended up having to enforce a 'special friend' rule. If they said an inappropriate word or repeatedly disobeyed, they became my special friend for a bit. I would find a chore or something for them to do while everyone else continued with the program. It worked pretty well until the last day, when they actually ENJOYED being my special friend...fail.

I would definitely say the highlight of the week was on Wednesday evening at Lobau Park. Don't get me wrong...it was pretty miserable for the most part. It was INSANELY hot and the mosquitos were the worst I have ever seen! The kids were whining and I can't blame them...we were too! After dinner, it started pouring. We huddled all the kids in a teepee with a fire in the middle. I rallied my team of girls together and told them to LOOK ALIVE! It obviously was not the ideal situation, but we have to pretend like this was the plan all along. We had no idea how long we would be in that cramped teepee, but we were going to act like it was the night of our lives. And I think at some point, at least for me, it started to become just that.

We sang silly songs, told (funny) scary stories, and had an on-the-spot talent show! (I would point at someone, telling them that they are 'up next!'

I felt like that was night that we really connected with the kids. It reminded me that God uses any situation to bring him glory.

So we leave tomorrow...which is sad! I have met some INCREDIBLE people here (more on that later).

WEEK 2!

Today we started week two of English camp in Vienna. I think it is safe to say that this week will be MUCH different from last week.

For starters, we have more older kids this week... a lot of 11 and 12 year olds. HORMONES ARE RAMPID! It is all about who likes who and who is cute. And they all are 'too cool' for the activities we have planned. No good. I was able to sit down with my team this afternoon to talk about re-vamping some of the activities to try to please the kids, so we will see how that goes. Pray for that if you don't mind...and patience too!

The Lord has really started to break my heart for the people of Vienna. I have befriended a wonderful woman here, Klaudia. After hearing her story over dinner (running sushi!), I was able to understand more about the Austrian culture and where Jesus fits in to it. It seems that many people here are raised Catholic. However, since the Austria is 'officially' a Catholic country, Catholics pay an additional tax. Therefore, many people grow up and realize this and turn away from the church and anything 'religious' based. Being Catholic is a part of the culture. No... claiming Catholicisim is part of the culture. But an actual relationship with Jesus Christ, unheard of. It breaks my heart. So I ask you to pray for the Austrian people. Pray that God would stir in their hearts and they would see their need for a Savior and Lord. Pray for the believers in Austria, that God would strengthen them and give them boldness to share with others.

WE MADE IT THROUGH THE FIRST WEEK! I must admit, there were some points when I wondered how we were going to do it. But it was simply by the strength of God that we made it!

We start our second week of camp tomorrow. I am thinking that it will be much better. We should all be more confident about what we are doing.

There are so many things I would like to share. The main thing is I ask you to pray for opportunities to share this week. We have a lot of older kids, so I am hoping that the team finds it easy to connect with the kids and seize the opportunity laid before them.

Pray for our team. What an amazing team we are! But I think the honeymoon stage is fading. Irritability and tiredness are rearing their ugly heads.

The Lord has laid some pretty tough stuff on my heart lately, and I am still sorting through some of it. Maybe I will post about it later.... until then... I must get to bed so we can catch our early bus tomorrow!

We just finished our fourth day of the first week of camp. I can't believe we are almost half way done! It has been a crazy, stressful, but oh so fun week!

We have 22 kids this week, most from a not yet believing family. Though there is an obvious language barrier, we have had such a good time with them. Yesterday, we did a half day of 'regular' camp, then hiked 3 miles to a campsite. I helped lead a group of 7 yr olds. They were so funny! In order to encourage them on the hike, we pretended we were art thieves. There were clues along the way with pieces to our art piece. However, there were also 'police' that we out to catch the theives. At each stop, I would read the clue (in English) When I would say 'the next PIECE,' the little ones, not knowing much English, thought I said POLICE and they would drop to the ground, hoping to not be seen. It was hilarious.

All in all, it has been a great week. My team is working INCREDIBLY together. Keep praying for us. We are getting tired...Pray God gives us the energy to keep the kids busy all day! And pray for tomorrow night. We will be having a 'showcase,' allowing the parents to come and see what the kids have been up to all week. Pray for conversations with the parents about WHY we do this.

TOMORROW!! TOMORROW!!

I can't believe it... Tomorrow is the big day!! I have been planning like crazy for this for a long time...and IT'S FINALLY HERE!! I was running around like crazy tonight. To say I was stressed would be a total understatement! I knew the Austrian culture is one of structure. They like plans... to the smallest detail. Now I'm a planner, but on my own terms (if that makes any sense). Needless to say, I vented to my mom while she helped me pack (she's so amazing). I decided to take a break.

That was when I was reminded that God is in control. I checked my email to see if there were any last-minute updates from Ruth, our supervisor in Austria. She did, in fact, send me an email. I almost dreaded opening it, fearing that it would remind me of something I forgot, something else I needed to do, etc.

This is what her email said... word for word...
"In case you get worried a bit: the camp was never perfect. We all made mistakes. The Kids didn't mind. We just try to make the best out of it and watch how God is using it. And: we can't plan everything ahead. Sometimes we have to be flexible, adapt the program to the kids. So don't worry if you don't know all the details. We will go through the program on Sunday afternoon. Every day, after the kids leave, we sit together and evaluate the day and check if everything is ready for the next day. There is still time to solve problems."

Talk about a weight being lifted!! I was given a peace and calm heart immediately.

While I'm gone, pray for my team. They are an awesome group of girls.

Here we are at Orientation....

And this is Amber...the other member of out team. She couldn't make it to Orientation!

You may also want to pray for the family I will be staying. The team will be split between three houses. Me and Allison are staying with Ursula and Dieter. Here they are.

"Laughing With" Lyrics:

No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war
No one's laughing at God when they're starving or freezing or so very poor

No one laughs at God when the doctor calls after some routine tests
No one's laughing at God when it's gotten real late and their kid's not back from that party yet

No one laughs at God when their airplane starts to uncontrollably shake
No one's laughing at God when they see the one they love hand in hand with someone else and they hope that they're mistaken
No one laughs at God when the cops knock on their door and they say "We've got some bad new, sir,"
No one's laughing at God when there's a famine, fire or flood

But God can be funny
At a cocktail party while listening to a good God-themed joke or
Or when the crazies say he hates us and they get so red in the head you think that they're about to choke

God can be funny
When told he'll give you money if you just pray the right way
And when presented like a genie
Who does magic like Houdini
Or grants wishes like Jiminy Cricket and Santa Claus

God can be so hilarious
Ha ha
Ha ha

No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war
No one's laughing at God when they've lost all they got and they don't know what for

No one laughs at God on the day they realize that the last sight they'll ever see is a pair of hateful eyes
No one's laughing at God when they're saying their goodbyes

But God can be funny
At a cocktail party while listening to a good God-themed joke or
Or when the crazies say he hates us and they get so red in the head you think that they're about to choke

God can be funny
When told he'll give you money if you just pray the right way
And when presented like a genie
Who does magic like Houdini
Or grants wishes like Jiminy Cricket and Santa Claus

God can be so hilarious

No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war

No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war

No one's laughing at God in a hospital
No one's laughing at God in a war

No one's laughing at God when they're starving or freezing or so very poor

No one's laughing at God
No one's laughing at God
No one's laughing at God
We're all laughing with God

Laughing With by Regina Spektor from the album Far

Three days from now, I will be heading for Austria. I felt like this would never come. I am so excited to lead my first trip with Go Now! BUT IT'S A LOT OF WORK! I feel like I still have so many last minute details to take care of. I find myself going over the camp schedule with a fine-toothed comb multiple times a day. I have a great fear that we will get over there and I will have forgotten to do something.

I feel like I have to prove myself! I don't know know what I am trying to prove or who I am trying to prove it to!

But if you think about it, send up a quick prayer for me and my team.

Pray for health. I am pretty sure I have a sinus infection that has set up camp in my head. With a lack of a "real" job right now comes a lack of insurance. I am REALLY praying that this whole mess will clear up before I am stuck in a pressurized plane for a long period of time.

Pray for the girls on my team. They all seem SO AMAZING. I can't wait to get to know them more. Two of them have started their own blogs so they can keep others up to speed with what's going on in Austria. Ask the Lord to protect them over the next couple of weeks.

Pray for the children that will be coming to the English camp. Most of them do not have any sort of evangelical background. Though this is not a "Christian camp," we will be telling Bible stories everyday, as well as seeking opportunities to share the gospel.

Pray for the church that we will be working at. The people of the church seem to have such an incredible heart for the un-churched in their community. Pray that they would seize every opportunity to connect with families during camp.

Pray for the teenagers that are "volunteering" during camp. In reality, these are teenagers that have gone to the camp in the past, but are now too old for camp. Therefore, they CHOOSE to come back and WORK, because they like it THAT MUCH! I have a strong feeling in my heart that this is where we will see a lot of opportunities during camp.

I guess that's it for now!

It's funny how things work out.

Just yesterday, I was driving back to the good ol' Merce after being home for Father's Day Weekend. I had the windows down (still no AC) and some good tunes playing loud. And I thought to myself, "I'm pretty happy with my life right now."

A year ago, I would have never guessed that I would end up in Commerce, much less actually LIKE it in this area. And just a couple of months ago, I thought that was all going to change!

I know it's been a bit of a rough year, but life out here is pleasant. It's just a little slower...everyone knows everybody, so naturally, you wave to everyone as you are driving. I LOVE my church and the hearts of the people there. I love that a lot of people out here work on their dairy farms every morning before anything else. There's a strong importance put on families out here, which I love.

Question is...when it REALLY is time for me to go, next summer, will I want to stay?

Thankful Thursday

Missed me last week? I was in Colorado for high school camp, which was AMAZING! Maybe more on that later.

I am VERY thankful for Chicken Express sweet tea. It somehow makes everything better when I am in a bad mood. I'm pretty sure that it will be in Heaven....in abundance.

I am also very thankful for my mom, who is willing to call me FORTY-ONE times in one morning to make sure I get up in time to get to VBS!

I am reminded how thankful I am for air conditioning. I don't have AC in my car, and haven't in quite a while. I'm not sure when I'm going to be able to get it fixed. But it's rather frustrating. I often can't wait to get into a building, simply for it's AC.

Lastly, I am VERY thankful that I live by myself. I love that I can come home after a long day and take a nap if I want... Or I can spread out all my stuff for Austria all over my living room and leave it there for days until I come back to it.

Thankful Thursday

Today, I am reminded how thankful I am that I have a car. With all the crazy events that have taken place over the past week, I was at home yesterday on "phone patrol." I had to basically sit at home all day so I could answer the phone when someone called. Well, if you know me at all, I'm not much of a sitter. By the end of the day, I felt like I was on house arrest. I was so thankful when more of the fam came home and I was able to get out! I went to a dollar movie (by myself) just to get the heck out!

I'm also thankful for a best friend who I can spend all night sitting in Braum's with...just laughing and talking about life. While we were there tonight, she even mentioned "You know, we could be out at a bar, drinking. But instead, we are here at Braum's in our scrubs having a grand time." I concur Liz, I concur.

Lastly, today I am thankful that I have my own room at my parents house. Though I sometimes get frustrated when I come home because it looks more like my mom's closet than my bedroom, it IS still mine. It is still my safe place... a place where I can hunker down in when I just need some time by myself, whether it be for a nap, to read, or whatever.

If you know me at all, you know I'm pretty much obsessed with Jon and Kate plus 8. And just like most fans, I was pretty upset about all the scandal surrounding their marriage. However, I just read an article in Christianity Today written by Julie Elliott called "The Gospel and the Gosselins" that shed a whole new light on it. I think she makes some good points about Christian's love and hate for Jon and Kate and what that says about our faith.

If you have recently stood in line at the grocery store and glanced at the tabloid covers, chances are you have seen the faces of reality TV stars Jon and Kate Gosselin. Jon and Kate are stars of the wildly popular TLC show Jon & Kate Plus Eight, which documents the life of this Pennsylvania couple as they raise their eight children, 8-year-old twins and 5-year-old sextuplets. Until recently, Jon and Kate were celebrated as models of wholesome family values. Sure, they bickered a lot, but they were committed to staying together for the long haul. Indeed, last season featured them renewing their wedding vows on the beach in Hawaii. Such commitment endeared them to the watching public and made them TLC's most profitable commodity.

Of all the viewers who followed the Gosselins, evangelicals were among the most faithful. Jon and Kate's refusal to resort to "selective reduction" when they found themselves pregnant with sextuplets, their membership in an Assemblies of God church, and their Isaiah 40:31 T-shirts all helped to make them icons of evangelical piety. Churches from across the country clamored to be added to their speaking tours. In the last two years the vast majority of Jon and Kate's presentations took place at Christian conferences or at evangelical churches, most often Baptist, nondenominational or charismatic.

Zondervan, one of the foremost evangelical presses, published two books with the Gosselins, both of which hit the New York Times bestseller list. The popular tongue-in-cheek blog Stuff Christians Like listed "Watching Jon and Kate Plus 8" on its list of favored Christian products or activities. Evangelicals dependably tuned in to the television show as the family received free trips to posh resorts, when the couple underwent plastic surgery, and when they moved from a comfortable house in the suburbs to a sprawling estate in the country. If they noticed that Jon and Kate's family and friends—most notably Aunt Jodi and Beth—were, one by one, being estranged from the family (reportedly over financial disputes), it did not stop believers from looking to this couple for inspiration on how to be a good Christian family.

Then everything changed. Reports surfaced that Jon was out partying with co-eds and getting too friendly with a 23-year-old teacher. Shortly thereafter the tabloids claimed that Kate was having an affair with her bodyguard and that she had given Jon the go-ahead to see other women, as long as he showed up for filming. The truthfulness of all of these claims has yet to be established. But one thing is clear—the marriage is crumbling. In fact, on the season five premiere, which aired on Memorial Day, the couple expressed no love for one another and made no promises about being together in the future. Both appeared ready to file for divorce.

Viewers, and especially evangelical viewers, are aghast. How could such a loving, Christian family disintegrate so quickly? Is the failure of their marriage due to the stress of parenting multiples? Can it be attributed to Kate's love of celebrity versus Jon's desire to retreat from the limelight? Might it be the result of living under constant (albeit self-imposed) surveillance? I suspect that each of these theories tell part of the story. But the story that has not been told is the one that sees in Jon and Kate the shortcomings of evangelical piety itself.

We evangelicals tend to be easily impressed. We cheered on Jon and Kate's decision to carry all six babies to term but rarely considered the prior question: Was it right for them to undergo risky fertility treatments in the first place? They had been married only a matter of months when Kate, who was in her mid-20s at the time, took fertility medication to stimulate her ovaries for intrauterine insemination and became pregnant with their twins, Cara and Mady.

Only a few years later, Kate's ovaries were stimulated once again, but this time they were hyper-stimulated. Warned by their doctor during an ultrasound examination that the fertility medication had worked a little too well and that four mature follicles were present, Jon and Kate nonetheless went ahead with the insemination. Apparently their doctor had miscounted on that fateful day, because Kate soon discovered that she was pregnant with seven embryos (one of which miscarried a short time later). Six babies were growing in a space designed for one, posing great risks to the life of each baby as well as to the life of their mother. Faced with this unintended but preventable situation, Jon and Kate were right to carry all of the babies to term. But this decision is not enough to warrant their status as models of Christian faithfulness. That most evangelicals were satisfied to celebrate the end—six miraculous lives—rather than assess the morality of the means whereby those lives were created, betrays the thinness of evangelical reflection on reproductive ethics. Too often our ethics have focused so singularly on the question of abortion that we have given comparatively little attention to the morally-significant issues surrounding infertility, reproductive technology, childbirth, and parenting. As such, we have a hard time challenging the assumptions of our consumerist culture or those who, like Jon and Kate, seem to be beholden to it.

As fellow Christians, we should have reminded the Gosselins that life is a gift to be received in gratitude, not something to be grasped, purchased, or sold. In many ways, the last four seasons of Jon & Kate Plus Eight is the story of a family that seemed to progressively lose sight of this truth. Of course, they had help along the way from TLC, from the show's producers, and not least of all, from their Christian viewers.

When the first few episodes revealed the earning potential of this "everyday family," Jon & Kate Plus Eight became a brand name that was packaged and sold. And many Christians were happy to comply by opening up their wallets and their fellowship halls. When the network and the couple were not satisfied with the money generated through high ratings and book sales, the Gosselin home was filled with product placements and the children were filmed for long hours each week. All the while many (though not all) evangelicals watched with undiscerning eyes. Somewhere along the line we, like Jon and Kate, seemed to forget the warnings of 1 Timothy 6:9-10:

But those who want to be rich fall into temptation and are trapped by many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, and in their eagerness to be rich some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pains. (NRSV)

It was not until the recent allegations of sexual impropriety arose that a significant number of Christians began to question whether Jon and Kate were indeed the examples of faithful living that we had imagined. Somehow most of us missed the long trajectory that was, day by day, moving them farther from a life of Christian virtue. Sexual immorality—whether actual or merely suspected—caught our attention, but the materialism, narcissism, and exploitation of children that preceded it was largely overlooked.

As such, the breakdown of Jon and Kate's marriage is but a symptom of the larger weaknesses of ethics in the evangelical community. We are easily seduced by wealth and fame. We are easily contented by the shallow rhetoric of hot-button issues. In short, we are easily deceived by cultural values painted in Christian veneers (or clothed in Isaiah 40:31 T-shirts).

The hope for us—and the hope of Jon and Kate—is to turn once again to the rich, complex, and difficult ethics of Jesus and to let those ethics form us into a more discerning people in the world. It is time that we look for role models who value self-sacrifice over material gain. It is time that we practice forgiveness and the healing of broken relationships and call fellow Christians to do the same. It is time that we take our own marriage vows seriously and hold our brothers and sisters to be true to their commitments as well. Most importantly, it is time that we develop a view of faith and life that is capable of asking deep questions and courageous enough to embody real answers. Then, and only then, will Christians have something to offer the world and something to offer Jon & Kate Plus Eight.

Julie Vermeer Elliott is a faculty member at Eastern University, St. Davids, PA, where she teaches courses in Christian ethics and interdisciplinary studies and directs advising and first-year programs. She holds a master of theological studies degree from Duke Divinity School.

"Speaking Out" is Christianity Today's guest opinion column and (unlike an editorial) does not necessarily represent the opinion of the publication.

Found this on Bleecker's Blog ...it's worth reading


RELIGION: I obey-therefore I’m accepted.

THE GOSPEL: I’m accepted-therefore I obey.

RELIGION: Motivation is based on fear and insecurity.

THE GOSPEL: Motivation is based on grateful joy.

RELIGION: I obey God in order to get things from God.

THE GOSPEL: I obey God to get to God-to delight and resemble Him.

RELIGION: When circumstances in my life go wrong, I am angry at God or my self, since I believe, like Job’s friends that anyone who is good deserves a comfortable life.

THE GOSPEL: When circumstances in my life go wrong, I struggle but I know all my punishment fell on Jesus and that while he may allow this for my training, he will exercise his Fatherly love within my trial.

RELIGION: When I am criticized I am furious or devastated because it is critical that I think of myself as a ‘good person’. Threats to that self-image must be destroyed at all costs

THE GOSPEL: When I am criticized I struggle, but it is not critical for me to think of myself as a ‘good person.’ My identity is not built on my record or my performance but on God’s love for me in Christ. I can take criticism.

RELIGION: My prayer life consists largely of petition and it only heats up when I am in a time of need. My main purpose in prayer is control of the environment.

THE GOSPEL: My prayer life consists of generous stretches of praise and adoration. My main purpose is fellowship with Him.

RELIGION: My self-view swings between two poles. If and when I am living up to my standards, I feel confident, but then I am prone to be proud and unsympathetic to failing people. If and when I am not living up to standards, I feel insecure and inadequate. I’m not confident. I feel like a failure.

THE GOSPEL: My self-view is not based on a view of my self as a moral achiever. In Christ I am “simul iustus et peccator”—simultaneously sinful and yet accepted in Christ. I am so bad he had to die for me and I am so loved he was glad to die for me. This leads me to deeper and deeper humility and confidence at the same time. Neither swaggering nor sniveling.

RELIGION: My identity and self-worth are based mainly on how hard I work. Or how moral I am, and so I must look down on those I perceive as lazy or immoral. I disdain and feel superior to ‘the other.’

THE GOSPEL: My identity and self-worth are centered on the one who died for His enemies, who was excluded from the city for me. I am saved by sheer grace. So I can’t look down on those who believe or practice something different from me. Only by grace I am what I am. I’ve no inner need to win arguments.

RELIGION: Since I look to my own pedigree or performance for my spiritual acceptability, my heart manufactures idols. It may be my talents, my moral record, my personal discipline, my social status, etc. I absolutely have to have them so they serve as my main hope, meaning, happiness, security, and significance, whatever I may say I believe about God.

THE GOSPEL: I have many good things in my life—family, work, spiritual disciplines, etc. But none of these good things are ultimate things to me. None of them are things I absolutely have to have, so there is a limit to how much anxiety, bitterness, and despondency they can inflict on me when they are threatened and lost.

Thankful Thursday

It's times like this that I am glad for a cell phone. I am in the middle of a pretty big decision... one that I'm trying to seek wise counsel on. So I'm thankful for my handy lil' cell phone that allows me to call my mom NUMEROUS times a day, as well as calling Cheryl, Liz, and others on a daily basis..to see if the Lord has imparted any wisdom on them to pass along to me.

I am VERY thankful that this year, I have had the flexibility with work to take off when I need to. This year has been a rough one for my family, but my job at the BSM has been so flexible that I didn't have to think twice about taking off as needed when Margaret passed away or to help my parents close the shop. And now, with my job at my church, it's no big deal for me to take off (tomorrow) to work a memorial golf tournament for Margaret.

Lastly, today I reminded how thankful I am for Google reader. I am pretty much obsessed with blogs. (Maybe not so much with updating my own...) With Google Reader, I am able to go to ONE PLACE to catch up on all my blogs, instead of tracking each one down individually. I gotta say, Google, that was a brilliant idea.

Simplified Missional Living

* Eat with non-Christians
* Walk, don't drive ,around your neighborhood when possible.
* Be a "regular" at your local coffee shop, restaurant, market, hair cut, etc
* Hobby with non-Christians - find extra curriculars that you enjoy that you can do with all kinds of people
* Develop relationships with your co-workers and pray for them
* Volunteer with a non-profit once a month, and bring your family, friends and small group too!
* Instead of watching TV or playing XBOX, participate in city events, get in the mix
* Serve your neighbors - like weeding and fixing their cars.

Above all, strike-up conversations, be friendly, say "hi, my name's BLANK. What's your name?"

-- this was posted on the Catalyst blog...after they took it from the Resurgence blog

A blog I read, Straight Up, posted something I liked the other day... thought I'd share.

I Want the Whole Gospel

Every single ounce of truth; give it to me straight just like it is in the Bible.

I want the whole gospel:
Don’t dilute the living water—it might not quench my thirsty soul.

I want the whole gospel:
Turn on the light of Jesus Christ and don’t shield my view—I need every beam of His radiant glory to dispel the darkness in me.

I want the whole gospel:
Don’t block the door, or I might not get through.

I want the whole gospel:
I need an accurate map to the narrow road, because only a few are finding it.

I want the whole gospel:
Because I am wholly lost, God’s verdict is wholly just, and my damnation is wholly certain.
My heart is wholly depraved and my sin is wholly mine.
My efforts are wholly futile and my escapes are wholly hopeless.
I need a whole Savior, whose whole suffering, wholly satisfies a holy God.

Please, please don’t cut the corners. It’s appointed unto man once to die and I have to be sure I get it right.

I have to have the whole gospel—give it to me straight. Nothing else will do!

Yes…God help us, let’s give the whole gospel.

mothers day survey

I really love it when my mom scratches my back or plays with my hair.

My mom likes to make others feel loved.

My mom always tells me, "I'm proud of you and I love you very much!"

The best thing she does is listens to me when I am having a bad day.

It makes her happy when she and I get to hang out... like shop, or get Starbucks...whatever

My mom loves to relax by watching weird TV shows :)

I like it when I am home and she wakes me up by coming and sitting on my bed and rubbing my back

The best thing she cooks is green chile enchiladas, chicken tortilla soup,

When my mom shops she likes to buy shoes!!!!

My mom’s favorite household chore is cleaning the bathroom (it's not really her fave...but it's the one she is most anal about!)

My mom’s favorite TV show is Ghost Whisperer....

If she could go on a trip, she would go to the beach!

I love my mom because she is always there for me... shes the best mom ever!

Thankful Thursday

I skipped Thankful Thursday last week... I doubt you missed it that much too much

But no worries...I'm back now.

This Thursday, I would like to highlight to awesome guys that I am eternally thankful for. Jeremy McMahan and Joel Halpin. I am constantly reminded by people at my home church (SGBC) how lucky I am to have had these two men invest so much in me (and others) during the critical times of my teenage years.


Jeremy was there as I wrestled with the idea of handing my life over to Christ and letting Him be the Lord of my life. He helped me realize my need for the grace of Christ as I decided to accept the amazing gift He offered. He and his wife, Catherine, truly poured all of their lives into me and my friends. He encouraged me through some pretty dark times in my life. I am so very thankful for Jeremy.






Joel came to SGBC during my senior year in high school. I was actually on the search committee that brought him in! I am VERY thankful for the role that Joel has played in my life. Though I was only a part of his youth group for a year, it was a very critical year in my life. I had some big decisions to make, and he gave me wisdom and guidance during those periods. Even after I graduated and went off to school, he continued to play a large role in my spiritual life. I would call or email him with random questions, knowing that he wouldn't think I was stupid or silly, no matter how far out the question was. (This idea turned out to be false...as he laughed at my question about the Garden of Eden last summer!! ) I came back to SGBC as Joel's youth intern. He gave me my first opportunity to work in ministry. It was a tough summer, to say the least, but he guided and encouraged me. He was even a good sport when I decorated his office in pink! With Joel, there was Erica, which was an added bonus! By having them in my life, I have seen what a Godly marriage looks like, how to raise children in a Christ-centered (and super fun) way, and how to let your life be a ministry.

Bottom line, I am so very lucky to have been discipled by these two guys and I am extremely thankful for all the ways they have poured into me.

A weekend in Nac

It was my first time to go back to Nac after the not-so-fun weekend I had right after graduation. I was pretty apprehensive about it. I knew I would have a good time. It was Maribeth's birthday and there was a surprise party going on, which I was sure would be fun. I would get the chance to see some friends that I hadn't seen in a pretty long time, and I was pretty stoked about that. But there were also a few things I was extremely apprehensive about...

...So much so that I would start thinking about it...over-analyzing it... and my chest would get extremely tight, so much so that it was difficult to breathe. I would sweat profusely. It was an all-around unpleasant experience.

There was one specific person that I was particularly anxious about crossing paths with. I had prepared myself for the fated reunion...well, I thought I did. When they didn't show up, I was oddly let down.

As I left Nacogdoches on Sunday, I did a lot of thinking. Nac wasn't the same as when I graduated. So much as changed, and not just the landmarks. The people are different. I'm definitely different (which I am extremely thankful for). But for some weird reason, I had a short breakdown. I knew that Nac would never be the same. Even just going back is kind of bittersweet. It reminds me of so many good memories, but also of many not-so-good ones. (Maybe because the last year seemed to be filled with more not-so-good ones).

Either way, I'm glad I went to Nac, but glad that I waited so long to return.

I wonder

One of the blogs I follow, Ragamuffin Soul posted something amazing the other day...and I thought I'd share

I wonder.
I wonder how many people, if we actually asked them, keep coming back to our churches because of our stellar Sunday productions.
I wonder if we ask the right people.
I wonder if we stopped, for a while, if people would keep coming.
I wonder if we turned off the lights and pulled the band if more people would come or go.
I wonder if we flipped the teaching time and music time, if it would matter.
I wonder if first time visitors are more concerned with what happens outside the auditorium than what happens inside it.
I wonder if the things we’ve rebelled against are the exact things we’ve become.
I wonder if church buildings will ever be used more than 2% a week.
I wonder if there has been more energy put into our Easter weekend services than our neighbors on the left and right.

I wonder with all the talk of social justice, why those friends keep walking by homeless people without even a smile.
I wonder when we will stop arguing about how to run the church and begin to start running our families.
I wonder how disrespected my dad feels by my generation of preachers saying his way is the wrong way.
I wonder how disrespected my generation of preachers will feel when our kids say our way is the wrong way.
I wonder when chenis envy will be replaced with prayer for others to succeed.
I wonder if churches without buildings will ever realize how good they have it.
I wonder when church planting became an industry.
I wonder if we know that our opinions are just that, opinions.
I wonder if those who say my church is an inch deep and a mile wide know that they would actually drown in the inch we provide.

Thankful Thursday (a day late)

I know I am over a day late from posting my Thankful Thursday post of the week...but better late than never, right??

I am so thankful for my church, FBC Sulphur Springs. It is definitely the biggest church I have been a part of. And the first two weeks were not ideal (noone spoke to me...not in SS or in worship). But I tried one more week, and have loved it ever since. I have gotten connected with some amazing families, which I will be eternally thankful for. FBC SS is a big family-oriented church. And when you don't have a family to sit with in worship, it can get kinda awkward, but there are some families that always look out for me and invite me to just jump on in with their family.

And then today, I was so encouraged. I heard that some people from church were roofing a house, so I jumped on board with it. We got out there this afternoon, and there were men and women who had TAKEN OFF WORK to VOLUNTEER to take down and put up a roof for a guy that really needs it. It was incredible.

So all in all..I am thankful for my church.

While I'm Waiting....

So the last month has brought some uncertainty as far as my future goes. I found out a couple of weeks ago that the state convention has cut it's budget and though my original plan was to stay in Commerce for another year, I am basically out of a job at the end of May.

Dang it.

And I felt like I was finally getting in the groove of things. I was finally comfortable. And God just yanks the rug right out from under me.

There are a couple of options...

1. We have sent out support letters, with the hope of raising financial support so I can stick around another year.

2. I have my teaching certificate and have started applying for teaching jobs. I am applying in the Dallas area, but also around the Commerce/Sulphur Springs area. In a perfect world (that involves teaching), I would love to stay around here. I LOVE the people I have met here. I would really miss one-on-one discipleship with some of the students. And I REALLY LOVE my church.

so thats whats up... i'd appreciate any prayers you could spare...

Thankful Thursday

So a few other blogs I follow post something they are thankful for on Thursdays. I thought I'd follow their lead.

Today, I am reminded that I should be thankful that I live in America in 2009. In case you were unaware, I am a pretty independent, self-sufficient person. I don't really like people telling me what to do and I DEFINITELY am not a fan of someone telling me what/how to think. Over the past few weeks, I have read so much on different topics. I try to always look into all sides of any topic, hoping to form my opinion on my own. I am very thankful that I live in a place and time where that's the norm. I don't have to believe something simply because someone tells me to. In fact, I am EXPECTED to take what they say and form my own opinion after looking further into it.

Hooray for that.

Beach Reach was last week...more on that later.

I'm talking to a friend now, a friend from SFA. Dear ol' Lauren Radtke, oh how I love thee haven't actually seen the girl since..... MAY?!?!?!? But she is still one of my dearest friends. Even when she was studying in Costa Rica for the summer, then Argentina in the fall, we still made a point to keep in touch. Now THAT'S a friend.

I remember when I first met Rad....at Burger Bash my junior year at SFA. It was her first week at SFA as a freshmen. She came to the BSM Burger Bash and we connected pretty well. We ended up becoming pretty good friends over the next year. Her sophomore year, my senior year, we led a small group Bible study together.

Honestly, I don't know what I would have done without Radtke during those last months at SFA. It seemed that all of my other friendships that I had built up over the past four years had already fizzled out. But she didn't. I was a wreck most of the time during that last semester. But she still loved me and was my friend, a true friend. I don't know how many times I called her, crying about the hurt or pain caused by relationships, and she would calm me down then make me laugh with an inappropriate joke! :)

It's funny how some friendships fade. You can continue to put effort into them, but if it's not meant to be, it will simply fade out. But not with Radtke. I know some friends are meant to be in your life for a short season, but after talking to Radtke tonight, I am sure that she is one that will stick around. Heck, she has stuck around this long.... may as well stick around a little more.

It's so weird

Today marked the end of 17 years. Today, A&B Tire closed it's doors for the last time.

It's crazy to think that the place my dad has worked so hard to build and keep up for the last seventeen years is no more. But with the downfall of the economy, this is a decision that is long overdue.

So today, my mom and I took off and spent the day in Greenville with my dad. We took down and packed up all personal momentos. We loaded up the plaques and pictures. But really, we reminisced.

I feel like that place was so much of my childhood. I remember when he first opened the business and Bubba and I would go down the Greenville so we could shoot commercials. We used to ride the car lifts up and down, up and down, up and down. We never grew tired of it. We used to LOVE to open up the vending machine and coke machine to get a snack out. I would go to work with dad and my job was putting orders into the computer. I also LOVED to wash the blue off the white wall tires. Bubba would go out and do service calls on the road. The highlight of our day with dad would be when the "roach coach" came and dad would buy us something terrible, yet delicious.

I hated driving away from A&B Tire for the last time. But I know without a shadow of a doubt that this is what my family needs to do. I am looking forward to getting my dad back...not the stressed out, grumpy, overwhelmed guy that's been at home for the past few years.

And just for the record....I thought about riding the car lift one more time...but didnt.

This was posted on another blog I read...and I thought it was definitely worth sharing.



I saw something very touching last night.
Or maybe heartbreaking is a better word.

As I was going down into the chilly subway station to wait for the train, a man was standing on the platform close to the wall.

From my quick peripheral observation (which I sadly have mastered since living here) I could tell he was, or looked, homeless or very poor.

The assumption seemed to be confirmed when I heard him mumbling something to people as they passed by him.

To each person he mumbled the same phrase.

I couldn't tell what he was saying, which probably meant (I thought) he was drunk or a little crazy and wasn't saying anything intelligible at all.

This assessment happened in about 2 seconds time as I approached him, seeing the person in front of me pass on by, not even glancing his way.

I passed by, not even glancing his way.

I felt a pang of guilt. (Guilt or the Holy Spirit convicting me?)

I heard a man's voice behind me say kindly,
"What is it you need, Sir?"

I turned around and saw the whole scene.

The man who didn't pass by was a business-looking man... clean cut, long nice dress coat.

Again, the man mumbled his line.
The man who didn't pass by asked him to repeat himself because he couldn't understand.

Finally he heard, and I heard, what the man what saying...
"Would you mind doing me a small favor?"

"Sure, what can I do for you?"
(He was just as uncomfortable as the rest of us would have been in the same situation. You could tell he was painfully aware of all the others on the platform staring at the scene, and aware of the potential hazards in stopping... but he stayed)

"Sir, would you mind zipping up my jacket? I'm crippled and can't do it on my own."

Immediately his handicap became obvious... a shriveled hand and forearm stuck up against his chest.

The man who didn't pass by proceeded to move in close... as close as you would have to be to zip someone's jacket zipper.
That's a pretty intimate process... way beyond the boundaries of personal space... it's something parents do for their small children who are not yet able.
He fumbled for a few seconds with the zipper on the man's dirty maroon jacket, and proceeded to zip it up. There they stood, face to face.

The crippled man was obviously touched, saying, "Thank you so much, Sir, thank you so much."

The train pulled up.
I stepped in the same car as the man who didn't pass by, and I could hear the crippled man yell again, "Thank you so much, Sir!"

As we pulled away from the station, we saw through the window the crippled man still standing where he had been.

I looked over and saw (what looked like) tears in the eyes of the man who didn't pass by.
I said to him, "That was really amazing what you just did."

He looked down sadly, shook his head, and sincerely said,"No, it really wasn't. I could have done so much more."

Yes, I guess he could have.
But he did so much more than any of the rest of us were willing to do.

And in his small gesture he gave something invaluable back to this man... his humanity.

He said to him, "Yes, I hear you speaking, and I care enough to stop... and to be patient and listen to what you have to say, even when it is so uncomfortable, and to put my fears aside in order to meet a need you have... in order to LOVE you. And I do this because it is what Jesus has done for me, and what He has done for you."

This beautiful, heartbreaking picture reminded me of what Jesus said about loving.

I praise the Lord today for people like this man- my husband- and pray that I would love Jesus so much that I would not pass by.

Happy Birthday Bubba...from some international students!

Last semester, Praveen, Aravind, and Yoshi met Bubba, when Bubba was in town to visit me one weekend. We all hung out one night...

... as the three of them walked into the BSM today for free lunch, they "reminded me" that today is Bubba's birthday. (I guess they saw it on Facebook) I got a brilliant idea to make a video for Bubba featuring my international friends. I thought I'd share with you too.

Time to get honest...

So I was home for a couple of days to celebrate Bubba's birthday (more on that later). I told my mom yesterday that we needed to call Jeremey today (Valentines) to see how he and the kids are doing. We got kinda busy and never did.

After birthday celebrations wrapped up tonight, I packed up the good ol' Explorer and headed back to Commerce. As I was driving, I started thinking about Jeremey and the kids. I ended up texting Jeremey to let him know that I was thinking about him and the kids. I had to text him on Margaret's phone though, since that's the phone he is using now. It was weird to see that I was sending a text to her phone, knowing that it's not actually going to her.

And the waterworks turned on. As I drove down 30, I started wondering if he would get the text..and what he would be doing as he got the text....and would he text back? I figured Gretchen and Barton were probably already in bed, so he was just sitting up enjoying the peace and quiet. But was it peaceful for him...spending his first Valentines WITHOUT the love of his life? I can't imagine what that must be like.

Then I started thinking...will I EVER BE OKAY WITH THIS? I mean...really.... I probably break down at least once or twice a week since Margaret has passed away. Every time I think about the kids growing up without their mom, I get a knot in my stomach and a lump in my throat. I just don't see how God could do that. I feel like He was on vacation that day...as if that was the ONE DAY that He stepped off the throne. Of course I know this is not true....but it sure feels like it. When I get honest with myself, my heart is asking "How could a loving God STEAL an amazing, loving mother from two YOUNG kids who may never remember their mom?" I hate to admit it, but there are times that I think, "Aren't there plenty of other people who could have died that day instead of her?" It's just not fair.... And yes I know life is not fair...

....but how do I explain that to Gretchen, the four year old darling of a little girl who still thinks mommy is coming home? How do I tell her that Mommy went to go live with Jesus without her thinking that Jesus isn't a good guy? Because that's what happened.... Gretchen was told that Mommy went to live with Jesus and she replied with, "Well then I don't like Jesus..."

It's not fair... and I don't like it..... and I'm pretty angry with God about the whole thing...

Ever since coming to Commerce, the sororities have been on my heart. The sorority houses are just right across the street from the BSM. However, we do not intentionally reach out to them in any way. It has been something I have praying about since early August.
At the end of last semester, I met Heather, a Kappa Delta who occasionally comes to the BSM. She had been praying about doing a small group for the girls in her sorority house. Well doesn't God work things out?
After a lot of running around trying to figure out the details and such, the small group for the sorority girls will be starting this Wednesday. I'm pretty excited about it. We will be going through Bad Girls of the Bible. I know that this is something that God has orchestrated, but I don't want to be too haughty about it. I'm still leaning completely on him for him to come through on this. There's no way I can lead a small group effectively without Him. I am praying that He will be so present this Wednesday that the girls that come will have to go home and tell the other girls in their sorority about the small group.
So if you think about it, pray for the our small group on Wednesday at 8:30.