Can I just be honest? At least with myself?

Life has sucked REALLY badly for the past few months. I have been pretty unhappy most of the time. I dont say this looking for a pity party in return. If anything, I feel like I have been hiding it A LOT! I had a breakdown to rival all breakdowns the other day. I dont know if I have ever hurt so much. And this hurt...sucks. I find myself questioning my faith a lot. It is hard for me to think that a God that loves me would continue to let me hurt like this. I feel like I pray all the time, begging God to take it away...and its only gotten worse.

It sucks. There are so many days that I feel at a loss....hopeless almost.

To say I have been in a "funk" would be correct. This semester has been the toughest yet, and I am not just speaking in academic terms. Though school has been particularly intense this semester, this "funk" would come from emotional, mental, spiritual, and even physical distress. There are so many days that I do not even want to get out of bed.
Sometimes, it seems like it would be much easier to lie in bed all day everyday, under my covers, holding Louie tightly in my safe haven of my little twin bed. I know most people are tired of hearing my "pity party"... which is why I have perfected my masks.