After talking to Landon for a bit today, as what usually happens after a good conversation with him, I was left with a lot to think about. So this is what's on my mind...
Christian...in simplest terms..what does it mean? By saying that you are a Christian, believer, or whatever term you choose to use, what is it that you are saying?
I think many people, both believers and non-believers, think that by claiming yourself to be a Christian, you are taking a stand on every issue out there. For example, by saying you are a Christian, many would assume you are saying you are against homosexuality, or alcohol, or a number of other things. But is that what you are saying?
I know that when I bring up my faith in Christ, I am not saying anything other than I accept the grace that Christ offers me.
With that said, it is okay in my books if not all believers feel the same about all issues. That's what makes us unique, true? Too often it turns into an "us vs. them" rhetoric between brothers and sisters in Christ. Is that really necessary? Can't we all just take comfort in the fact that we all believe in the same Christ and the grace that He offers? Is that not enough?
Friday, March 30, 2007
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
just some ramblings..
So.. be in the world but not of it... how often have you heard that? But more importantly, do you understand it? And if you do, could please fill me in.
Be a Jew to a Jew, a Gentile to Gentil, etc... but how?
How long do you love someone before sharing the truth...or do you ever?
I am sure you have heard that as believers, we should be in relationships with non-believers. And most people say that all is well, as long as "you are the one influencing them, not them influencing you." But is this okay?
Be a Jew to a Jew, a Gentile to Gentil, etc... but how?
How long do you love someone before sharing the truth...or do you ever?
I am sure you have heard that as believers, we should be in relationships with non-believers. And most people say that all is well, as long as "you are the one influencing them, not them influencing you." But is this okay?
Saturday, March 24, 2007
being home...and loving it??
Is it possible that I am home for the weekend and ENJOYING IT? I know, I think it's weird too. As I drove home yesterday, I was ACTUALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO IT? Maybe it is because I have had an incredibly rough week and I needed to get away. I mean, it's not like I have big plans for the weekend. In fact, I fully intend on sitting in the oversized chair in the living room, switching off between a good book and watching movies and Lost episodes. I doubt I will be changing clothes all that often.
But I am reminded, as I think I have said before, of Jesus returning to his hometown in Mark 6
1Jesus left there and went to his hometown, accompanied by his disciples. 2When the Sabbath came, he began to teach in the synagogue, and many who heard him were amazed.
"Where did this man get these things?" they asked. "What's this wisdom that has been given him, that he even does miracles! 3Isn't this the carpenter? Isn't this Mary's son and the brother of James, Joseph,[a] Judas and Simon? Aren't his sisters here with us?" And they took offense at him.
4Jesus said to them, "Only in his hometown, among his relatives and in his own house is a prophet without honor." 5He could not do any miracles there, except lay his hands on a few sick people and heal them. 6And he was amazed at their lack of faith.
A "prophet without honor"...that's me, everytime I come home. No, I know I am no prophet. But I totally get it. Everytime I come home, I am the person I was when I left here three years ago. I ignorant, silly, naive eighteen year old...
But I am reminded, as I think I have said before, of Jesus returning to his hometown in Mark 6
1Jesus left there and went to his hometown, accompanied by his disciples. 2When the Sabbath came, he began to teach in the synagogue, and many who heard him were amazed.
"Where did this man get these things?" they asked. "What's this wisdom that has been given him, that he even does miracles! 3Isn't this the carpenter? Isn't this Mary's son and the brother of James, Joseph,[a] Judas and Simon? Aren't his sisters here with us?" And they took offense at him.
4Jesus said to them, "Only in his hometown, among his relatives and in his own house is a prophet without honor." 5He could not do any miracles there, except lay his hands on a few sick people and heal them. 6And he was amazed at their lack of faith.
A "prophet without honor"...that's me, everytime I come home. No, I know I am no prophet. But I totally get it. Everytime I come home, I am the person I was when I left here three years ago. I ignorant, silly, naive eighteen year old...
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
intentions...definition 3a
Is it possible to have the best of intentions and still get screwed over somehow? Well yes, it is. Why? The same reason the church can be a whacked out place...the same reason there are creepy people in the world doing mean things...because we are human.
Though I may feel that I have/had the best of intentions with someone, it has been brought to my attention that they can take it in a completely different way. Dang it..I thought I actually had something figured out for once. But now... I'm back where I started.
Is life really just a cyclical thing? Am I just going to keep making the same mistakes over and over? I sure as heck hope not...more so for everyone else's sake.
But if life is a vicious cycle, is there any hope?
I am holding out that there IS hope... I mean.. I have hope in Christ..and though I may be a mere jar of clay, He works through me..right? So I may have screwed up yet ANOTHER relationship somehow, but there's hope that ONE DAY I will figure it out. It's just not looking like that day will be today... or tomorrow...
Though I may feel that I have/had the best of intentions with someone, it has been brought to my attention that they can take it in a completely different way. Dang it..I thought I actually had something figured out for once. But now... I'm back where I started.
Is life really just a cyclical thing? Am I just going to keep making the same mistakes over and over? I sure as heck hope not...more so for everyone else's sake.
But if life is a vicious cycle, is there any hope?
I am holding out that there IS hope... I mean.. I have hope in Christ..and though I may be a mere jar of clay, He works through me..right? So I may have screwed up yet ANOTHER relationship somehow, but there's hope that ONE DAY I will figure it out. It's just not looking like that day will be today... or tomorrow...
intentions...definition 3a
Is it possible to have the best of intentions and still get screwed over somehow? Well yes, it is. Why? The same reason the church can be a whacked out place...the same reason there are creepy people in the world doing mean things...because we are human.
Though I may feel that I have/had the best of intentions with someone, it has been brought to my attention that they can take it in a completely different way. Dang it..I thought I actually had something figured out for once. But now... I'm back where I started.
Is life really just a cyclical thing? Am I just going to keep making the same mistakes over and over? I sure as heck hope not...more so for everyone else's sake.
But if life is a vicious cycle, is there any hope?
I am holding out that there IS hope... I mean.. I have hope in Christ..and though I may be a mere jar of clay, He works through me..right? So I may have screwed up yet ANOTHER relationship somehow, but there's hope that ONE DAY I will figure it out. It's just not looking like that day will be today... or tomorrow...
Another thought...total switch of pace. You ever see someone or maybe meet them and immediately think, "Man... I wanna be best friends with them."? I do..a lot. I have thinking that a lot lately. Maybe it's a hang over from Beach Reach, where it easily becomes "Meet as many people as you can so you can add more people to facebook than anyone else..." But let's take Clayton for example. (If you haven't heard about Clayton from Beach Reach, you should... ) I had to pleasure of meeting and talking with Clayton for a total of about 3 1/2 hours last week. He's from Kansas, which is a darn shame, because he is one of those people that make me think..."GAH!!! Why can't we be best friends?" Or like the Reza, from Colorado... or the guy that rides the skateboard thru campus.... Man.. I want to be BFF with all of them.
Now if you are one of my dear friends here in Nac, or even in G-town, don't get all twisted ( like Sam did when we had this conversation...) you are a blessing..for sure..and I am sure that if I didn't already know you, I would be thinking that WE TOO should be bff. Maybe it is just the mystery and excitement of these new people. Or maybe one day, we really will be BFF...
Though I may feel that I have/had the best of intentions with someone, it has been brought to my attention that they can take it in a completely different way. Dang it..I thought I actually had something figured out for once. But now... I'm back where I started.
Is life really just a cyclical thing? Am I just going to keep making the same mistakes over and over? I sure as heck hope not...more so for everyone else's sake.
But if life is a vicious cycle, is there any hope?
I am holding out that there IS hope... I mean.. I have hope in Christ..and though I may be a mere jar of clay, He works through me..right? So I may have screwed up yet ANOTHER relationship somehow, but there's hope that ONE DAY I will figure it out. It's just not looking like that day will be today... or tomorrow...
Another thought...total switch of pace. You ever see someone or maybe meet them and immediately think, "Man... I wanna be best friends with them."? I do..a lot. I have thinking that a lot lately. Maybe it's a hang over from Beach Reach, where it easily becomes "Meet as many people as you can so you can add more people to facebook than anyone else..." But let's take Clayton for example. (If you haven't heard about Clayton from Beach Reach, you should... ) I had to pleasure of meeting and talking with Clayton for a total of about 3 1/2 hours last week. He's from Kansas, which is a darn shame, because he is one of those people that make me think..."GAH!!! Why can't we be best friends?" Or like the Reza, from Colorado... or the guy that rides the skateboard thru campus.... Man.. I want to be BFF with all of them.
Now if you are one of my dear friends here in Nac, or even in G-town, don't get all twisted ( like Sam did when we had this conversation...) you are a blessing..for sure..and I am sure that if I didn't already know you, I would be thinking that WE TOO should be bff. Maybe it is just the mystery and excitement of these new people. Or maybe one day, we really will be BFF...
Monday, March 19, 2007
awkward.. all 8 definitions
check em out.. all eight of em.. I live these out, everyday. "Awkward" might as well be my middle name. Heck, make it my first name! I am incredibly afraid of awkward moments, which is probably why I like to create awkward moments for others. By making others feel awkward, I know that even for a split second, they feel awkward and I don't. I am a sick, sick person.
And why is that everytime I am placed in an awkward situation, my first instinct is to run? I have noticed that everytime things get bad in any sense in life, I want to run. I just "have to get away." When I am fed up with all that is Nacogdoches, I figure out anyway possible to go back home. And after just a short time there and I am fed up with good ol G-town, I am high-tailing it back to Nac. This can't be good.
Is this what my life is going to be like? Am I always going to be running from something, be it an awkward situation or not? And am I okay with that?
There was a girl at beach reach this past week. (granted this is all "hear-say.") She is an SFA student and was down in Padre to live it up for spring break. After a few days, it all got to be a little much. She called a friend that she knew was in Padre for beach reach. She pleaded with him for help. She wanted to go home...right then. But it said it right..."You can't keep running from your life."
Is that what I am doing?Instead of just running from simple awkward moments, is there a bigger picture that I am running from? I should be doing something else, something joyful, instead of leaving an awkward conversation in the library thinking, "Whew! I am glad thats over with..."
But where do you begin to find the "bigger awkward situation?" Is there even something "bigger" I am running from? Or am I just lucky enough to be constantly put in awkward situations?
And why is that everytime I am placed in an awkward situation, my first instinct is to run? I have noticed that everytime things get bad in any sense in life, I want to run. I just "have to get away." When I am fed up with all that is Nacogdoches, I figure out anyway possible to go back home. And after just a short time there and I am fed up with good ol G-town, I am high-tailing it back to Nac. This can't be good.
Is this what my life is going to be like? Am I always going to be running from something, be it an awkward situation or not? And am I okay with that?
There was a girl at beach reach this past week. (granted this is all "hear-say.") She is an SFA student and was down in Padre to live it up for spring break. After a few days, it all got to be a little much. She called a friend that she knew was in Padre for beach reach. She pleaded with him for help. She wanted to go home...right then. But it said it right..."You can't keep running from your life."
Is that what I am doing?Instead of just running from simple awkward moments, is there a bigger picture that I am running from? I should be doing something else, something joyful, instead of leaving an awkward conversation in the library thinking, "Whew! I am glad thats over with..."
But where do you begin to find the "bigger awkward situation?" Is there even something "bigger" I am running from? Or am I just lucky enough to be constantly put in awkward situations?
Friday, March 16, 2007
spring break comes to an end
I spent my spring break at Beach Reach in Padre again. It was pretty much amazing. So much more incredible than last year, yet so much more difficult. I could go into details, but I know some people flat out don't care. If you do, just ask...
But not only have I been able to see God do amazing things through me, I have seen Him do amazing things IN me this week.
God is continuing to refine who I am and I think I have finally accepted that. All my life, I have been such an extrovert. And no, that is not a bad thing, but I think it is time that I begin to work on the introvert inside of me.
It just seems that I am at a different stage in my life than I was a year ago. As I stood on the beach during our last night of worship in Padre, I stood with my feet buried in the sand and the waves crashing at my ankles. The end of my skirt was getting wet with each white crested wave. It was absolutely beauitful. And not just on a physical level, but on so many other levels. Standing there saying over and over, "God, I can't do this alone. I need you to step in and step in big time," has never been such a feeling of freedom.
I am so excited to see where God has me going next. It looks like there is going to be a lot of change, a lot of unknowns, and a whole heck of alot of clinging to Christ for security.
But not only have I been able to see God do amazing things through me, I have seen Him do amazing things IN me this week.
God is continuing to refine who I am and I think I have finally accepted that. All my life, I have been such an extrovert. And no, that is not a bad thing, but I think it is time that I begin to work on the introvert inside of me.
It just seems that I am at a different stage in my life than I was a year ago. As I stood on the beach during our last night of worship in Padre, I stood with my feet buried in the sand and the waves crashing at my ankles. The end of my skirt was getting wet with each white crested wave. It was absolutely beauitful. And not just on a physical level, but on so many other levels. Standing there saying over and over, "God, I can't do this alone. I need you to step in and step in big time," has never been such a feeling of freedom.
I am so excited to see where God has me going next. It looks like there is going to be a lot of change, a lot of unknowns, and a whole heck of alot of clinging to Christ for security.
Sunday, March 04, 2007
and then...
theres times that your reputation with some people will never change.
No matter how much you try to prove to someone that you are a different person, they CHOOSE to continue to see you for who you once were. And I have to be okay with that.
"Clique"...gosh I hate that word. And I personally try to do everything I can to stay away from that label but it continues to follow me...
Guess we shall see what happens..
No matter how much you try to prove to someone that you are a different person, they CHOOSE to continue to see you for who you once were. And I have to be okay with that.
"Clique"...gosh I hate that word. And I personally try to do everything I can to stay away from that label but it continues to follow me...
Guess we shall see what happens..
Friday, March 02, 2007
melancholy
So much has been on my mind lately...
Like the judginig of other believers... is that okay? EVER? My opinion, outside of accountability, no,its not okay. But why is this such a hard concept to grasp for most believers.
Also, I think I often forget how much I have changed over the past three years. There are many times that I may be sitting a with a friend, and we giggle at where I was when I first came to SFA to where I am now... which is on two different roads! Then, theres times like tonight, when it becomes easy to look back and see all the ways I screwed up...and the reputation that easily comes with that.
This summer I will be in Minneapolis.. I am stoked...my father is not... I could use your prayers..
Like the judginig of other believers... is that okay? EVER? My opinion, outside of accountability, no,its not okay. But why is this such a hard concept to grasp for most believers.
Also, I think I often forget how much I have changed over the past three years. There are many times that I may be sitting a with a friend, and we giggle at where I was when I first came to SFA to where I am now... which is on two different roads! Then, theres times like tonight, when it becomes easy to look back and see all the ways I screwed up...and the reputation that easily comes with that.
This summer I will be in Minneapolis.. I am stoked...my father is not... I could use your prayers..
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