discipleship... THATS what is lacking

Sitting (or standing, rather) outside of a house tonight in the freezing cold with Zach tonight, we discussed the "GIG" (or small home group) that we had just left. This led to talking about the church. Zach said it best with, "You know what it's missing...DISCIPLESHIP!" He could not have been more right.

As a "church," we say, "Come to us... walk in our 'church' (building) and we will love you. But outside of these walls, we dont know you." We expect people to come to us before we will love them and accept them, and even then, it usually doesnt turn out that way.

We arent called to fill up church pews and make church-goers out of everyone- but to make disciples. Don't get me wrong- Church definitly has its place- but that is not what life is about.

So if we are called to make disciples out of others, why arent we? We have I been spending the last 3 years searching for JUST ONE of the hundreds of churches in Nac that will get me connected with an older woman. I NEED an older woman of Christ. I need her wisdom, her love, her compassion. I need to be able to talk to an older woman in Christ about spiritual matters. I don't have the luxury of talking to my mom about this sort of thing. So I am left talking to my peers all the time. And no, thats not a bad thing..in moderation. But if all I ever go to are ignorant (dont deny it) college kids, that will only do so good....

two days in a row?? NO WAY!

Can a guy and a girl be BFF and all turn out okay?

That seems to be the question of the year. I mean really, I have had good guy friends in the past...but they are still that, the past. None (yet at least) have carried over to the present. But is this just coincidence....or is there a reason?

Obviously there are some things that cannot be shared past the gender lines. Still, so much can be shared and experienced together...but should it? Can it actually be done in a purely platonic way?

I am beginning to think that no, it can not. At some point or another, someone develops feelings for the other. Then, it just gets all awkward and weird...and noone likes that. And let's say that somehow you ARE able to maintain a platonic relationship (of BFF quality) for quite some time. What happens when one of you is in a relationship? Are you able to maintain your friendship with this person and keep a healthy relationship with your significant other? I don't know...

It's all confusing. The whole idea of any kind of relationship with the opposite sex is confusing to me. Maybe that is why I have not been in one (of "significant" value) ever... or had a boy BFF that has lasted...maybe I am going about this all wrong...

Don't be alarmed..

Being back in Nac for almost two weeks now has not turned into what I thought it was going to be.

To say the least, the break was a bit of a spiritual slump for me. Not only was I taking a break from school while at home, I was taking a break from my faith.

And I guess I mistakenly thought that by pulling into my driveway here in Nac, things would automatically get better....Boy was I wrong.

I am having to muster of the discipline to do what I need to do. There have been conversations over the past few nights that can only be described as "God breathed." Things were brought ot my attention, stumbling blocks that I failed to acknowledge.

I thought I was coming back to a church that I just might start going to on a regular basis. Now, I am not so sure. I am back to square one on my outlook on church...Why and where?

Guess we will see where this semester takes me.

new year...new semester...

Back in Nac..and ready to go.... or am I?

I will be the first to admit that I have wasted my Christmas break, and I got called out on it the other day. Do you know how humbling it is to have SOMEONE ELSE tell you that they can tell that you haven't been in the Word as much as you should, or that your prayer life is not where it needs to be??

So what now? I have a week before classes start. Do I speed read the entire Bible? Never get off my knees? I was telling a friend earlier that I do not necessarily like how I ended last semester and the last thing I want to do is start this one off on the same foot. But what did I do to avoid that? NOTHING...

Guess we will see what happens...