A weekend in Nac

It was my first time to go back to Nac after the not-so-fun weekend I had right after graduation. I was pretty apprehensive about it. I knew I would have a good time. It was Maribeth's birthday and there was a surprise party going on, which I was sure would be fun. I would get the chance to see some friends that I hadn't seen in a pretty long time, and I was pretty stoked about that. But there were also a few things I was extremely apprehensive about...

...So much so that I would start thinking about it...over-analyzing it... and my chest would get extremely tight, so much so that it was difficult to breathe. I would sweat profusely. It was an all-around unpleasant experience.

There was one specific person that I was particularly anxious about crossing paths with. I had prepared myself for the fated reunion...well, I thought I did. When they didn't show up, I was oddly let down.

As I left Nacogdoches on Sunday, I did a lot of thinking. Nac wasn't the same as when I graduated. So much as changed, and not just the landmarks. The people are different. I'm definitely different (which I am extremely thankful for). But for some weird reason, I had a short breakdown. I knew that Nac would never be the same. Even just going back is kind of bittersweet. It reminds me of so many good memories, but also of many not-so-good ones. (Maybe because the last year seemed to be filled with more not-so-good ones).

Either way, I'm glad I went to Nac, but glad that I waited so long to return.