I had a bit of a personal revelation the other day.

I'm not going to lie.... it's been a bit of a rough year. I feel like things have been a constant rollercoaster. It is even more difficult when OTHER people make comments like, "You know, you really have had a crappy hand lately," or "Don't you just wish God would let up a bit?"

My gut instinct... YES!! Yes it has been kinda hard...YES I do sometimes wish God would let up.

But that's when my "AH-HA" moment came to me.

It's so easy to think that we somehow DESERVE to have it easy or good for a bit of time. I have cried out to the Lord before, begging for life to be easy before. But then I realized, what would be a sufficient amount of time for things to be good? At what point would I be able to turn to God and say, "Ok...you have given me what I deserve. NOW you can give me the tough stuff."

Let's say I thought I deserved six months of an easy life. And after that six months, God threw some curve balls my way. After I made it through that, I would probably ask God for more "easy time" next time. Maybe I would think I deserved eight months.

I am pretty sure that my selfish nature would cause me to keep asking for more time...no...asking is too nice... I would keep DEMANDING more "easy" time.

What gives us the audacity to think we DESERVE an easy life? Where do I come off thinking that?

I have been wrestling with this thought process for the past week.... just thought I'd share.