After talking to Landon for a bit today, as what usually happens after a good conversation with him, I was left with a lot to think about. So this is what's on my mind...
Christian...in simplest terms..what does it mean? By saying that you are a Christian, believer, or whatever term you choose to use, what is it that you are saying?
I think many people, both believers and non-believers, think that by claiming yourself to be a Christian, you are taking a stand on every issue out there. For example, by saying you are a Christian, many would assume you are saying you are against homosexuality, or alcohol, or a number of other things. But is that what you are saying?
I know that when I bring up my faith in Christ, I am not saying anything other than I accept the grace that Christ offers me.
With that said, it is okay in my books if not all believers feel the same about all issues. That's what makes us unique, true? Too often it turns into an "us vs. them" rhetoric between brothers and sisters in Christ. Is that really necessary? Can't we all just take comfort in the fact that we all believe in the same Christ and the grace that He offers? Is that not enough?
Friday, March 30, 2007
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
just some ramblings..
So.. be in the world but not of it... how often have you heard that? But more importantly, do you understand it? And if you do, could please fill me in.
Be a Jew to a Jew, a Gentile to Gentil, etc... but how?
How long do you love someone before sharing the truth...or do you ever?
I am sure you have heard that as believers, we should be in relationships with non-believers. And most people say that all is well, as long as "you are the one influencing them, not them influencing you." But is this okay?
Be a Jew to a Jew, a Gentile to Gentil, etc... but how?
How long do you love someone before sharing the truth...or do you ever?
I am sure you have heard that as believers, we should be in relationships with non-believers. And most people say that all is well, as long as "you are the one influencing them, not them influencing you." But is this okay?
Saturday, March 24, 2007
being home...and loving it??
Is it possible that I am home for the weekend and ENJOYING IT? I know, I think it's weird too. As I drove home yesterday, I was ACTUALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO IT? Maybe it is because I have had an incredibly rough week and I needed to get away. I mean, it's not like I have big plans for the weekend. In fact, I fully intend on sitting in the oversized chair in the living room, switching off between a good book and watching movies and Lost episodes. I doubt I will be changing clothes all that often.
But I am reminded, as I think I have said before, of Jesus returning to his hometown in Mark 6
1Jesus left there and went to his hometown, accompanied by his disciples. 2When the Sabbath came, he began to teach in the synagogue, and many who heard him were amazed.
"Where did this man get these things?" they asked. "What's this wisdom that has been given him, that he even does miracles! 3Isn't this the carpenter? Isn't this Mary's son and the brother of James, Joseph,[a] Judas and Simon? Aren't his sisters here with us?" And they took offense at him.
4Jesus said to them, "Only in his hometown, among his relatives and in his own house is a prophet without honor." 5He could not do any miracles there, except lay his hands on a few sick people and heal them. 6And he was amazed at their lack of faith.
A "prophet without honor"...that's me, everytime I come home. No, I know I am no prophet. But I totally get it. Everytime I come home, I am the person I was when I left here three years ago. I ignorant, silly, naive eighteen year old...
But I am reminded, as I think I have said before, of Jesus returning to his hometown in Mark 6
1Jesus left there and went to his hometown, accompanied by his disciples. 2When the Sabbath came, he began to teach in the synagogue, and many who heard him were amazed.
"Where did this man get these things?" they asked. "What's this wisdom that has been given him, that he even does miracles! 3Isn't this the carpenter? Isn't this Mary's son and the brother of James, Joseph,[a] Judas and Simon? Aren't his sisters here with us?" And they took offense at him.
4Jesus said to them, "Only in his hometown, among his relatives and in his own house is a prophet without honor." 5He could not do any miracles there, except lay his hands on a few sick people and heal them. 6And he was amazed at their lack of faith.
A "prophet without honor"...that's me, everytime I come home. No, I know I am no prophet. But I totally get it. Everytime I come home, I am the person I was when I left here three years ago. I ignorant, silly, naive eighteen year old...
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
intentions...definition 3a
Is it possible to have the best of intentions and still get screwed over somehow? Well yes, it is. Why? The same reason the church can be a whacked out place...the same reason there are creepy people in the world doing mean things...because we are human.
Though I may feel that I have/had the best of intentions with someone, it has been brought to my attention that they can take it in a completely different way. Dang it..I thought I actually had something figured out for once. But now... I'm back where I started.
Is life really just a cyclical thing? Am I just going to keep making the same mistakes over and over? I sure as heck hope not...more so for everyone else's sake.
But if life is a vicious cycle, is there any hope?
I am holding out that there IS hope... I mean.. I have hope in Christ..and though I may be a mere jar of clay, He works through me..right? So I may have screwed up yet ANOTHER relationship somehow, but there's hope that ONE DAY I will figure it out. It's just not looking like that day will be today... or tomorrow...
Though I may feel that I have/had the best of intentions with someone, it has been brought to my attention that they can take it in a completely different way. Dang it..I thought I actually had something figured out for once. But now... I'm back where I started.
Is life really just a cyclical thing? Am I just going to keep making the same mistakes over and over? I sure as heck hope not...more so for everyone else's sake.
But if life is a vicious cycle, is there any hope?
I am holding out that there IS hope... I mean.. I have hope in Christ..and though I may be a mere jar of clay, He works through me..right? So I may have screwed up yet ANOTHER relationship somehow, but there's hope that ONE DAY I will figure it out. It's just not looking like that day will be today... or tomorrow...
intentions...definition 3a
Is it possible to have the best of intentions and still get screwed over somehow? Well yes, it is. Why? The same reason the church can be a whacked out place...the same reason there are creepy people in the world doing mean things...because we are human.
Though I may feel that I have/had the best of intentions with someone, it has been brought to my attention that they can take it in a completely different way. Dang it..I thought I actually had something figured out for once. But now... I'm back where I started.
Is life really just a cyclical thing? Am I just going to keep making the same mistakes over and over? I sure as heck hope not...more so for everyone else's sake.
But if life is a vicious cycle, is there any hope?
I am holding out that there IS hope... I mean.. I have hope in Christ..and though I may be a mere jar of clay, He works through me..right? So I may have screwed up yet ANOTHER relationship somehow, but there's hope that ONE DAY I will figure it out. It's just not looking like that day will be today... or tomorrow...
Another thought...total switch of pace. You ever see someone or maybe meet them and immediately think, "Man... I wanna be best friends with them."? I do..a lot. I have thinking that a lot lately. Maybe it's a hang over from Beach Reach, where it easily becomes "Meet as many people as you can so you can add more people to facebook than anyone else..." But let's take Clayton for example. (If you haven't heard about Clayton from Beach Reach, you should... ) I had to pleasure of meeting and talking with Clayton for a total of about 3 1/2 hours last week. He's from Kansas, which is a darn shame, because he is one of those people that make me think..."GAH!!! Why can't we be best friends?" Or like the Reza, from Colorado... or the guy that rides the skateboard thru campus.... Man.. I want to be BFF with all of them.
Now if you are one of my dear friends here in Nac, or even in G-town, don't get all twisted ( like Sam did when we had this conversation...) you are a blessing..for sure..and I am sure that if I didn't already know you, I would be thinking that WE TOO should be bff. Maybe it is just the mystery and excitement of these new people. Or maybe one day, we really will be BFF...
Though I may feel that I have/had the best of intentions with someone, it has been brought to my attention that they can take it in a completely different way. Dang it..I thought I actually had something figured out for once. But now... I'm back where I started.
Is life really just a cyclical thing? Am I just going to keep making the same mistakes over and over? I sure as heck hope not...more so for everyone else's sake.
But if life is a vicious cycle, is there any hope?
I am holding out that there IS hope... I mean.. I have hope in Christ..and though I may be a mere jar of clay, He works through me..right? So I may have screwed up yet ANOTHER relationship somehow, but there's hope that ONE DAY I will figure it out. It's just not looking like that day will be today... or tomorrow...
Another thought...total switch of pace. You ever see someone or maybe meet them and immediately think, "Man... I wanna be best friends with them."? I do..a lot. I have thinking that a lot lately. Maybe it's a hang over from Beach Reach, where it easily becomes "Meet as many people as you can so you can add more people to facebook than anyone else..." But let's take Clayton for example. (If you haven't heard about Clayton from Beach Reach, you should... ) I had to pleasure of meeting and talking with Clayton for a total of about 3 1/2 hours last week. He's from Kansas, which is a darn shame, because he is one of those people that make me think..."GAH!!! Why can't we be best friends?" Or like the Reza, from Colorado... or the guy that rides the skateboard thru campus.... Man.. I want to be BFF with all of them.
Now if you are one of my dear friends here in Nac, or even in G-town, don't get all twisted ( like Sam did when we had this conversation...) you are a blessing..for sure..and I am sure that if I didn't already know you, I would be thinking that WE TOO should be bff. Maybe it is just the mystery and excitement of these new people. Or maybe one day, we really will be BFF...
Monday, March 19, 2007
awkward.. all 8 definitions
check em out.. all eight of em.. I live these out, everyday. "Awkward" might as well be my middle name. Heck, make it my first name! I am incredibly afraid of awkward moments, which is probably why I like to create awkward moments for others. By making others feel awkward, I know that even for a split second, they feel awkward and I don't. I am a sick, sick person.
And why is that everytime I am placed in an awkward situation, my first instinct is to run? I have noticed that everytime things get bad in any sense in life, I want to run. I just "have to get away." When I am fed up with all that is Nacogdoches, I figure out anyway possible to go back home. And after just a short time there and I am fed up with good ol G-town, I am high-tailing it back to Nac. This can't be good.
Is this what my life is going to be like? Am I always going to be running from something, be it an awkward situation or not? And am I okay with that?
There was a girl at beach reach this past week. (granted this is all "hear-say.") She is an SFA student and was down in Padre to live it up for spring break. After a few days, it all got to be a little much. She called a friend that she knew was in Padre for beach reach. She pleaded with him for help. She wanted to go home...right then. But it said it right..."You can't keep running from your life."
Is that what I am doing?Instead of just running from simple awkward moments, is there a bigger picture that I am running from? I should be doing something else, something joyful, instead of leaving an awkward conversation in the library thinking, "Whew! I am glad thats over with..."
But where do you begin to find the "bigger awkward situation?" Is there even something "bigger" I am running from? Or am I just lucky enough to be constantly put in awkward situations?
And why is that everytime I am placed in an awkward situation, my first instinct is to run? I have noticed that everytime things get bad in any sense in life, I want to run. I just "have to get away." When I am fed up with all that is Nacogdoches, I figure out anyway possible to go back home. And after just a short time there and I am fed up with good ol G-town, I am high-tailing it back to Nac. This can't be good.
Is this what my life is going to be like? Am I always going to be running from something, be it an awkward situation or not? And am I okay with that?
There was a girl at beach reach this past week. (granted this is all "hear-say.") She is an SFA student and was down in Padre to live it up for spring break. After a few days, it all got to be a little much. She called a friend that she knew was in Padre for beach reach. She pleaded with him for help. She wanted to go home...right then. But it said it right..."You can't keep running from your life."
Is that what I am doing?Instead of just running from simple awkward moments, is there a bigger picture that I am running from? I should be doing something else, something joyful, instead of leaving an awkward conversation in the library thinking, "Whew! I am glad thats over with..."
But where do you begin to find the "bigger awkward situation?" Is there even something "bigger" I am running from? Or am I just lucky enough to be constantly put in awkward situations?
Friday, March 16, 2007
spring break comes to an end
I spent my spring break at Beach Reach in Padre again. It was pretty much amazing. So much more incredible than last year, yet so much more difficult. I could go into details, but I know some people flat out don't care. If you do, just ask...
But not only have I been able to see God do amazing things through me, I have seen Him do amazing things IN me this week.
God is continuing to refine who I am and I think I have finally accepted that. All my life, I have been such an extrovert. And no, that is not a bad thing, but I think it is time that I begin to work on the introvert inside of me.
It just seems that I am at a different stage in my life than I was a year ago. As I stood on the beach during our last night of worship in Padre, I stood with my feet buried in the sand and the waves crashing at my ankles. The end of my skirt was getting wet with each white crested wave. It was absolutely beauitful. And not just on a physical level, but on so many other levels. Standing there saying over and over, "God, I can't do this alone. I need you to step in and step in big time," has never been such a feeling of freedom.
I am so excited to see where God has me going next. It looks like there is going to be a lot of change, a lot of unknowns, and a whole heck of alot of clinging to Christ for security.
But not only have I been able to see God do amazing things through me, I have seen Him do amazing things IN me this week.
God is continuing to refine who I am and I think I have finally accepted that. All my life, I have been such an extrovert. And no, that is not a bad thing, but I think it is time that I begin to work on the introvert inside of me.
It just seems that I am at a different stage in my life than I was a year ago. As I stood on the beach during our last night of worship in Padre, I stood with my feet buried in the sand and the waves crashing at my ankles. The end of my skirt was getting wet with each white crested wave. It was absolutely beauitful. And not just on a physical level, but on so many other levels. Standing there saying over and over, "God, I can't do this alone. I need you to step in and step in big time," has never been such a feeling of freedom.
I am so excited to see where God has me going next. It looks like there is going to be a lot of change, a lot of unknowns, and a whole heck of alot of clinging to Christ for security.
Sunday, March 04, 2007
and then...
theres times that your reputation with some people will never change.
No matter how much you try to prove to someone that you are a different person, they CHOOSE to continue to see you for who you once were. And I have to be okay with that.
"Clique"...gosh I hate that word. And I personally try to do everything I can to stay away from that label but it continues to follow me...
Guess we shall see what happens..
No matter how much you try to prove to someone that you are a different person, they CHOOSE to continue to see you for who you once were. And I have to be okay with that.
"Clique"...gosh I hate that word. And I personally try to do everything I can to stay away from that label but it continues to follow me...
Guess we shall see what happens..
Friday, March 02, 2007
melancholy
So much has been on my mind lately...
Like the judginig of other believers... is that okay? EVER? My opinion, outside of accountability, no,its not okay. But why is this such a hard concept to grasp for most believers.
Also, I think I often forget how much I have changed over the past three years. There are many times that I may be sitting a with a friend, and we giggle at where I was when I first came to SFA to where I am now... which is on two different roads! Then, theres times like tonight, when it becomes easy to look back and see all the ways I screwed up...and the reputation that easily comes with that.
This summer I will be in Minneapolis.. I am stoked...my father is not... I could use your prayers..
Like the judginig of other believers... is that okay? EVER? My opinion, outside of accountability, no,its not okay. But why is this such a hard concept to grasp for most believers.
Also, I think I often forget how much I have changed over the past three years. There are many times that I may be sitting a with a friend, and we giggle at where I was when I first came to SFA to where I am now... which is on two different roads! Then, theres times like tonight, when it becomes easy to look back and see all the ways I screwed up...and the reputation that easily comes with that.
This summer I will be in Minneapolis.. I am stoked...my father is not... I could use your prayers..
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Things are looking up...
....for once
I found out today that I will be spending this summer in Minneapolis... WHICH I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT! When I got the email with the assignment, I screamed like a lil school girl and did a happy dance before running to tell Lindsay. Told the parentals...mom is stoked for me.. so thats good. Dad...not so much. But he did make a comment tonight that made me a little excited. I told him that once I graduate and have a real job, it wont be like I can come home in the summer anyways, to which he replied, "Who says thats gonna happen?" Naturally, I got defensive and said, "WHAT?! You dont think I will graduate?" "No, I know you will graduate.." "You are worried about me getting a 'real' job, right?" I asked. He confirmed...and by 'real job' he means teaching in the Dallas area. Looks like he might be starting to finally realize that I am NOT just going through a phase..that i REALLY DO want to go to the nations...
I found out today that I will be spending this summer in Minneapolis... WHICH I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT! When I got the email with the assignment, I screamed like a lil school girl and did a happy dance before running to tell Lindsay. Told the parentals...mom is stoked for me.. so thats good. Dad...not so much. But he did make a comment tonight that made me a little excited. I told him that once I graduate and have a real job, it wont be like I can come home in the summer anyways, to which he replied, "Who says thats gonna happen?" Naturally, I got defensive and said, "WHAT?! You dont think I will graduate?" "No, I know you will graduate.." "You are worried about me getting a 'real' job, right?" I asked. He confirmed...and by 'real job' he means teaching in the Dallas area. Looks like he might be starting to finally realize that I am NOT just going through a phase..that i REALLY DO want to go to the nations...
Sunday, February 04, 2007
my minds-a-going
This week has been insane. One might say it has been a week from Hell. I have had my fair share of breakdowns over the past few days. But one thing that came from it, my mind is going full speed..
Like..do you think God can be absent from only one area of your life? I know there are numerous accounts in scripture where God is completely absent from a person's life. But I have yet to find an instance where God is alive and active in someone's life in all areas but one... So I find myself in this exact predicament and am beginning to lose hope. God is doing so many amazing things in most areas of my life. And I am so thankful for that. But in one, JUST ONE, I don't even feel like He hears me. Can that be true?
I wish I didn't care. Someone, please tell me that at times, you have this exact phrase run through your head, "Man, if I wasn't a Christian, I would definitly....." I have been thinking this alot lately..does that make me a bad person? This surpressed bitterness and anger has recently surfaced, only to make me more bitter and angry.
I am failing to see Christ in this. Scriptures have been pointed out that say things like "God only does this to those He loves," and "Discipline isnt pleasurable, but its worth it in the end."
Well I am tired of hearing that. I want someone to sit with me and say "You are right... this sucks.." I want someone to cry with me.. to hurt with me... to feel as awkward as I do at times. I guess its true that misery loves company. And it is only understandable that noone feels the need to join me in this not-so-pleasant endeavor. Oh well. I guess I will just have to wait "til it gets better."
Like..do you think God can be absent from only one area of your life? I know there are numerous accounts in scripture where God is completely absent from a person's life. But I have yet to find an instance where God is alive and active in someone's life in all areas but one... So I find myself in this exact predicament and am beginning to lose hope. God is doing so many amazing things in most areas of my life. And I am so thankful for that. But in one, JUST ONE, I don't even feel like He hears me. Can that be true?
I wish I didn't care. Someone, please tell me that at times, you have this exact phrase run through your head, "Man, if I wasn't a Christian, I would definitly....." I have been thinking this alot lately..does that make me a bad person? This surpressed bitterness and anger has recently surfaced, only to make me more bitter and angry.
I am failing to see Christ in this. Scriptures have been pointed out that say things like "God only does this to those He loves," and "Discipline isnt pleasurable, but its worth it in the end."
Well I am tired of hearing that. I want someone to sit with me and say "You are right... this sucks.." I want someone to cry with me.. to hurt with me... to feel as awkward as I do at times. I guess its true that misery loves company. And it is only understandable that noone feels the need to join me in this not-so-pleasant endeavor. Oh well. I guess I will just have to wait "til it gets better."
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
discipleship... THATS what is lacking
Sitting (or standing, rather) outside of a house tonight in the freezing cold with Zach tonight, we discussed the "GIG" (or small home group) that we had just left. This led to talking about the church. Zach said it best with, "You know what it's missing...DISCIPLESHIP!" He could not have been more right.
As a "church," we say, "Come to us... walk in our 'church' (building) and we will love you. But outside of these walls, we dont know you." We expect people to come to us before we will love them and accept them, and even then, it usually doesnt turn out that way.
We arent called to fill up church pews and make church-goers out of everyone- but to make disciples. Don't get me wrong- Church definitly has its place- but that is not what life is about.
So if we are called to make disciples out of others, why arent we? We have I been spending the last 3 years searching for JUST ONE of the hundreds of churches in Nac that will get me connected with an older woman. I NEED an older woman of Christ. I need her wisdom, her love, her compassion. I need to be able to talk to an older woman in Christ about spiritual matters. I don't have the luxury of talking to my mom about this sort of thing. So I am left talking to my peers all the time. And no, thats not a bad thing..in moderation. But if all I ever go to are ignorant (dont deny it) college kids, that will only do so good....
As a "church," we say, "Come to us... walk in our 'church' (building) and we will love you. But outside of these walls, we dont know you." We expect people to come to us before we will love them and accept them, and even then, it usually doesnt turn out that way.
We arent called to fill up church pews and make church-goers out of everyone- but to make disciples. Don't get me wrong- Church definitly has its place- but that is not what life is about.
So if we are called to make disciples out of others, why arent we? We have I been spending the last 3 years searching for JUST ONE of the hundreds of churches in Nac that will get me connected with an older woman. I NEED an older woman of Christ. I need her wisdom, her love, her compassion. I need to be able to talk to an older woman in Christ about spiritual matters. I don't have the luxury of talking to my mom about this sort of thing. So I am left talking to my peers all the time. And no, thats not a bad thing..in moderation. But if all I ever go to are ignorant (dont deny it) college kids, that will only do so good....
Monday, January 22, 2007
two days in a row?? NO WAY!
Can a guy and a girl be BFF and all turn out okay?
That seems to be the question of the year. I mean really, I have had good guy friends in the past...but they are still that, the past. None (yet at least) have carried over to the present. But is this just coincidence....or is there a reason?
Obviously there are some things that cannot be shared past the gender lines. Still, so much can be shared and experienced together...but should it? Can it actually be done in a purely platonic way?
I am beginning to think that no, it can not. At some point or another, someone develops feelings for the other. Then, it just gets all awkward and weird...and noone likes that. And let's say that somehow you ARE able to maintain a platonic relationship (of BFF quality) for quite some time. What happens when one of you is in a relationship? Are you able to maintain your friendship with this person and keep a healthy relationship with your significant other? I don't know...
It's all confusing. The whole idea of any kind of relationship with the opposite sex is confusing to me. Maybe that is why I have not been in one (of "significant" value) ever... or had a boy BFF that has lasted...maybe I am going about this all wrong...
That seems to be the question of the year. I mean really, I have had good guy friends in the past...but they are still that, the past. None (yet at least) have carried over to the present. But is this just coincidence....or is there a reason?
Obviously there are some things that cannot be shared past the gender lines. Still, so much can be shared and experienced together...but should it? Can it actually be done in a purely platonic way?
I am beginning to think that no, it can not. At some point or another, someone develops feelings for the other. Then, it just gets all awkward and weird...and noone likes that. And let's say that somehow you ARE able to maintain a platonic relationship (of BFF quality) for quite some time. What happens when one of you is in a relationship? Are you able to maintain your friendship with this person and keep a healthy relationship with your significant other? I don't know...
It's all confusing. The whole idea of any kind of relationship with the opposite sex is confusing to me. Maybe that is why I have not been in one (of "significant" value) ever... or had a boy BFF that has lasted...maybe I am going about this all wrong...
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Don't be alarmed..
Being back in Nac for almost two weeks now has not turned into what I thought it was going to be.
To say the least, the break was a bit of a spiritual slump for me. Not only was I taking a break from school while at home, I was taking a break from my faith.
And I guess I mistakenly thought that by pulling into my driveway here in Nac, things would automatically get better....Boy was I wrong.
I am having to muster of the discipline to do what I need to do. There have been conversations over the past few nights that can only be described as "God breathed." Things were brought ot my attention, stumbling blocks that I failed to acknowledge.
I thought I was coming back to a church that I just might start going to on a regular basis. Now, I am not so sure. I am back to square one on my outlook on church...Why and where?
Guess we will see where this semester takes me.
To say the least, the break was a bit of a spiritual slump for me. Not only was I taking a break from school while at home, I was taking a break from my faith.
And I guess I mistakenly thought that by pulling into my driveway here in Nac, things would automatically get better....Boy was I wrong.
I am having to muster of the discipline to do what I need to do. There have been conversations over the past few nights that can only be described as "God breathed." Things were brought ot my attention, stumbling blocks that I failed to acknowledge.
I thought I was coming back to a church that I just might start going to on a regular basis. Now, I am not so sure. I am back to square one on my outlook on church...Why and where?
Guess we will see where this semester takes me.
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
new year...new semester...
Back in Nac..and ready to go.... or am I?
I will be the first to admit that I have wasted my Christmas break, and I got called out on it the other day. Do you know how humbling it is to have SOMEONE ELSE tell you that they can tell that you haven't been in the Word as much as you should, or that your prayer life is not where it needs to be??
So what now? I have a week before classes start. Do I speed read the entire Bible? Never get off my knees? I was telling a friend earlier that I do not necessarily like how I ended last semester and the last thing I want to do is start this one off on the same foot. But what did I do to avoid that? NOTHING...
Guess we will see what happens...
I will be the first to admit that I have wasted my Christmas break, and I got called out on it the other day. Do you know how humbling it is to have SOMEONE ELSE tell you that they can tell that you haven't been in the Word as much as you should, or that your prayer life is not where it needs to be??
So what now? I have a week before classes start. Do I speed read the entire Bible? Never get off my knees? I was telling a friend earlier that I do not necessarily like how I ended last semester and the last thing I want to do is start this one off on the same foot. But what did I do to avoid that? NOTHING...
Guess we will see what happens...
Saturday, December 30, 2006
random
Being home for the holidays has forced me to do a lot of thinking...most about my family. (And no, this isn't going to be a rant on the fam)
It's a normal thing for the four of us to sit around during this time and talk about memories. The "remember whens" bring back many laughs and smiles, and occasionally, a few tears. So thinking back to these cherished memories, I start thinking of my childhood as a whole.
Now I wasn't raised in a "Christian household." I don't know what it's like to have your parents wake you up for church, much less make you go. I have no idea how to pray with my family outside of our typical blessing over the Thanksgiving and Christmas meals. Hard times were just that...hard times..that sucked. And when it was good, it was because we were "lucky"..nothing else...
And tonight, some friends were over and we were watching Nick-at-Nite (thats the cool thing to do on a Saturday night, if you were unaware). Rosanne came on and one of my friends who WAS brought up in a Christian home said "We weren't allowed to watch this when I was young," to which I replied, "We watched this together as a family..." So I start thinking- what all DID we watch as a family? I remember being young and watching rated R movies with the fam. Sex, drugs, violence...all normal television for me. TV shows like Sightings and Married, with Children were regulars for us. But somehow, I turned out okay (at least I think so)
So I wonder, am I just lucky? Or is it really okay to expose kids to so much?
It's a normal thing for the four of us to sit around during this time and talk about memories. The "remember whens" bring back many laughs and smiles, and occasionally, a few tears. So thinking back to these cherished memories, I start thinking of my childhood as a whole.
Now I wasn't raised in a "Christian household." I don't know what it's like to have your parents wake you up for church, much less make you go. I have no idea how to pray with my family outside of our typical blessing over the Thanksgiving and Christmas meals. Hard times were just that...hard times..that sucked. And when it was good, it was because we were "lucky"..nothing else...
And tonight, some friends were over and we were watching Nick-at-Nite (thats the cool thing to do on a Saturday night, if you were unaware). Rosanne came on and one of my friends who WAS brought up in a Christian home said "We weren't allowed to watch this when I was young," to which I replied, "We watched this together as a family..." So I start thinking- what all DID we watch as a family? I remember being young and watching rated R movies with the fam. Sex, drugs, violence...all normal television for me. TV shows like Sightings and Married, with Children were regulars for us. But somehow, I turned out okay (at least I think so)
So I wonder, am I just lucky? Or is it really okay to expose kids to so much?
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
On the Homefront
Day 4 of being in Garland...and I can already feel the insanity overcoming me.
I went to Journey Sunday night. And I liked it...alot. We sang Christmas Carols, but we sang them as worship songs...if that is at all possible. The quaint-ness of the entire setting was nice. I snuck in a few minutes late, after getting quite lost. I did the typical visitor thing and sat in the very back on the end of the row. But afterwards, a couple of people made a point of coming over to chit-chat with me before I did the sly visitor routine and disappeared. I even stayed after a bit to listen in on a budget meeting. Sure, there was some arguing, but it was nice to know that this is a REAL church, one that deals with REAL issues like budget. It was comforting to see that it wasn't some fantasy church that secretly existed in a room within another church.
But the good stuff (insert sarcasm) came when I got home. See, I decided to go to Journey (on my own, mind you) instead of going to our (more so my family's) church for the candlelit Lord's Supper. When I came home, my dad made some rude remark about how I shoud have gone, which I responded with how I wanted to just try out this church.... A few shouts later and amongst the ignorant remarks made, my dad told me that he fears I "may join a cult..."
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
Since day one, I have known that my dad is not a fan of me being independent... "I will always be his little girl..." So apparently, I am supposed to believe what he believes, pray like he prays, and worhip like he worships, where he worships.
But I have NEVER accused him of doing the wrong thing by singing hymns, wearing a suit and tie to church, or any of that. I simply tell him that thats fine that it works for him, but it doesn't for me. Funny thing is, I was the one that constantly hounded him about coming to church...for a couple of years, before he finally came to visit, and later accepted Christ as his Savior...
There's some irony in this whole situation..and I don't like it. I guess I will turn to my "cult" for answers...
I went to Journey Sunday night. And I liked it...alot. We sang Christmas Carols, but we sang them as worship songs...if that is at all possible. The quaint-ness of the entire setting was nice. I snuck in a few minutes late, after getting quite lost. I did the typical visitor thing and sat in the very back on the end of the row. But afterwards, a couple of people made a point of coming over to chit-chat with me before I did the sly visitor routine and disappeared. I even stayed after a bit to listen in on a budget meeting. Sure, there was some arguing, but it was nice to know that this is a REAL church, one that deals with REAL issues like budget. It was comforting to see that it wasn't some fantasy church that secretly existed in a room within another church.
But the good stuff (insert sarcasm) came when I got home. See, I decided to go to Journey (on my own, mind you) instead of going to our (more so my family's) church for the candlelit Lord's Supper. When I came home, my dad made some rude remark about how I shoud have gone, which I responded with how I wanted to just try out this church.... A few shouts later and amongst the ignorant remarks made, my dad told me that he fears I "may join a cult..."
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
Since day one, I have known that my dad is not a fan of me being independent... "I will always be his little girl..." So apparently, I am supposed to believe what he believes, pray like he prays, and worhip like he worships, where he worships.
But I have NEVER accused him of doing the wrong thing by singing hymns, wearing a suit and tie to church, or any of that. I simply tell him that thats fine that it works for him, but it doesn't for me. Funny thing is, I was the one that constantly hounded him about coming to church...for a couple of years, before he finally came to visit, and later accepted Christ as his Savior...
There's some irony in this whole situation..and I don't like it. I guess I will turn to my "cult" for answers...
Sunday, December 17, 2006
Jesus says that the "Harvest is plentiful..."
Why do we take this as a bad thing? We hear this and automatically have the mindset, "There are so many people out there dying and going to hell..."
But tell a farmer that his "harvest is plentiful"... HES STOKED!
No I am not saying we should be rejoicing because there are so many people suffering in the world...but why not look at it as if there are so many people that are ready to come to Christ.
Dictionary.com defines harvest as:
1. Also, har·vest·ing. the gathering of crops.
2. the season when ripened crops are gathered.
3. a crop or yield of one growing season.
4. a supply of anything gathered at maturity and stored:
so if you "harvest" a crop once it's good and ready...doesn't it only make sense to say that there are so many people out there that are ready and willing to be "harvested?"
Why do we take this as a bad thing? We hear this and automatically have the mindset, "There are so many people out there dying and going to hell..."
But tell a farmer that his "harvest is plentiful"... HES STOKED!
No I am not saying we should be rejoicing because there are so many people suffering in the world...but why not look at it as if there are so many people that are ready to come to Christ.
Dictionary.com defines harvest as:
1. Also, har·vest·ing. the gathering of crops.
2. the season when ripened crops are gathered.
3. a crop or yield of one growing season.
4. a supply of anything gathered at maturity and stored:
so if you "harvest" a crop once it's good and ready...doesn't it only make sense to say that there are so many people out there that are ready and willing to be "harvested?"
Monday, December 11, 2006
Long ....but worth reading (in my opinion)
Still reading Organic Church...Still loving it
Here's a little for you to nibble on...
"If any ONE Christian alive today were to lead just one person to Christ every year and disciple that person so that he or she would, in turn, do the same the next year, it would take only about thirty-five years to reach the entire world for Christ! But it could be even closer than that. If every Christian alive today were to reproduce in the same way, the world would be won to Christ in the next two to four years....Christianity is always just one generation away from extinction. If we fail to reproduce ourselves and pass the torch of life into the hands of the next generation, Christianity will be over within just one generation. Yet because of the power of multiplication, we are also one generation away from worldwide fulfillment of the Great Commission. The choice is ours."
I mean...come on...REALLY?!?! What are we sitting around for?
I also got another bit of insight on the Lord's Supper... never heard this before. Still not sure what I think...tell me your opinion...
So in the book, it says how the Church has "taken and 'sanctified' them (symbolic exercises) to the extent that only the ordained can conduct them and they are performed only in the sanctity of church halls behind stained-glass windows. We even instruct unbelievers not to participate in the communion (which is a restriction not actually found in the Bible).
Hm...that's interesting... So I looked at the notes in the back of the book ... which say...
"The actual warning not to take the elements of communion 'in an unworthy manner' (1 Cor. 11:27-32) is for church members who are abusing the Lord's Supper for personal gain at the expense of others. It is clear that the discipline accompanying taking the supper in an unworthy manner is directed toward Christians, as Paul explains that this very punishment is one thing that seperates us from the condemnation of the world (v. 32). There is no mention that this applies in any way to unbelievers who are already under a strict judgement for sin, or as Paul says, 'condemnation.' When we do take the communion as Jesus intended, we 'proclaim His death until He comes' (1 Cor 11:26). Even in the very first communion, when Jesus gave us the example to follow in rememberance of Him, he clearly did not exclude the unbeliever who was at the table (Luke 22:14-23; John 13:10-11)."
Just something to think about
Here's a little for you to nibble on...
"If any ONE Christian alive today were to lead just one person to Christ every year and disciple that person so that he or she would, in turn, do the same the next year, it would take only about thirty-five years to reach the entire world for Christ! But it could be even closer than that. If every Christian alive today were to reproduce in the same way, the world would be won to Christ in the next two to four years....Christianity is always just one generation away from extinction. If we fail to reproduce ourselves and pass the torch of life into the hands of the next generation, Christianity will be over within just one generation. Yet because of the power of multiplication, we are also one generation away from worldwide fulfillment of the Great Commission. The choice is ours."
I mean...come on...REALLY?!?! What are we sitting around for?
I also got another bit of insight on the Lord's Supper... never heard this before. Still not sure what I think...tell me your opinion...
So in the book, it says how the Church has "taken and 'sanctified' them (symbolic exercises) to the extent that only the ordained can conduct them and they are performed only in the sanctity of church halls behind stained-glass windows. We even instruct unbelievers not to participate in the communion (which is a restriction not actually found in the Bible).
Hm...that's interesting... So I looked at the notes in the back of the book ... which say...
"The actual warning not to take the elements of communion 'in an unworthy manner' (1 Cor. 11:27-32) is for church members who are abusing the Lord's Supper for personal gain at the expense of others. It is clear that the discipline accompanying taking the supper in an unworthy manner is directed toward Christians, as Paul explains that this very punishment is one thing that seperates us from the condemnation of the world (v. 32). There is no mention that this applies in any way to unbelievers who are already under a strict judgement for sin, or as Paul says, 'condemnation.' When we do take the communion as Jesus intended, we 'proclaim His death until He comes' (1 Cor 11:26). Even in the very first communion, when Jesus gave us the example to follow in rememberance of Him, he clearly did not exclude the unbeliever who was at the table (Luke 22:14-23; John 13:10-11)."
Just something to think about
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Tried a lil something new
So it's my last Sunday in Nac this semester...sounds like a perfect day to go to a brand new church...right?
Well maybe today wasn't the the most logical day to try a new church, but I did it anyways. I went to the Vineyard here in the good ol Nac-o-plex...
...And I loved it! Let me give you a brief run down of "church."
10 - continental breakfast
10:30 - worship
11 - coffee break for more fellowship
11:15 sermon
I loved it. Even if I already said it, I will say it again... I REALLY liked this church. It seemed like what a church should be than any other place I have been to. When we walked in, we were cheerfully greeted, but not overbearingly so. We got some breakfast and headed to the worship room/big room/whatever it is called. We sat at a table (who would have thought....tables in a "sanctuary"?!?!) More and more people came up to talk to us.
As I sat back to just watch and take it all in, I noticed a few things that made this church stand out. First, there were people there that would NOT fit in, much less feel comfortable in any other church. They weren't wearing matching clothes, their hair wasn't a "done" as it could have been, and there were a few that I wondered when the last time they washed their hair was.... But I loved that part of it!!
Also, the people greeted each other like family they hadn't seen in years. Big hugs, even between the men! An honest, "How are you doing? How is (whatever) going in your life?" They REALLY care about each other.
Then, my favorite part of the whole thing.... during the "coffee break," there were about 10 people who went outside for a smoke break.... REALLY?? I have never seen this done before? People smoking two feet away from the church? I admit, I at first had the (now shameful) thought of " WHAT ARE THEY DOING?!? YOU CANT DO THAT!!" but then I realized... yes they can.. they love Jesus just like I do.
Maybe that's where I will start going on a regular basis. I am not sure that being a junior in college and STILL church hopping in the best thing to do....
Well maybe today wasn't the the most logical day to try a new church, but I did it anyways. I went to the Vineyard here in the good ol Nac-o-plex...
...And I loved it! Let me give you a brief run down of "church."
10 - continental breakfast
10:30 - worship
11 - coffee break for more fellowship
11:15 sermon
I loved it. Even if I already said it, I will say it again... I REALLY liked this church. It seemed like what a church should be than any other place I have been to. When we walked in, we were cheerfully greeted, but not overbearingly so. We got some breakfast and headed to the worship room/big room/whatever it is called. We sat at a table (who would have thought....tables in a "sanctuary"?!?!) More and more people came up to talk to us.
As I sat back to just watch and take it all in, I noticed a few things that made this church stand out. First, there were people there that would NOT fit in, much less feel comfortable in any other church. They weren't wearing matching clothes, their hair wasn't a "done" as it could have been, and there were a few that I wondered when the last time they washed their hair was.... But I loved that part of it!!
Also, the people greeted each other like family they hadn't seen in years. Big hugs, even between the men! An honest, "How are you doing? How is (whatever) going in your life?" They REALLY care about each other.
Then, my favorite part of the whole thing.... during the "coffee break," there were about 10 people who went outside for a smoke break.... REALLY?? I have never seen this done before? People smoking two feet away from the church? I admit, I at first had the (now shameful) thought of " WHAT ARE THEY DOING?!? YOU CANT DO THAT!!" but then I realized... yes they can.. they love Jesus just like I do.
Maybe that's where I will start going on a regular basis. I am not sure that being a junior in college and STILL church hopping in the best thing to do....
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