Margaret wasn't just an aunt, but more like the older sister that I always wanted. See, she lived with us for a while after she graduated from college. My brother and I would come home from school and she would give us a snack and help us with our homework. This was often the time that Bubba and I would fight and argue in the worst way. Margaret would get so mad at us and tell us that we were the "best birth control."
Over the last couple of days, I have been reminded of so many different ways that Margaret has influenced my life.
She has done big things in my life, like influencing me to go to college.
Margaret was a lot of the reason I wanted to go to college. I remember one Christmas when she got us all ENMU shirts. I loved that T-shirt. I can vividly picture her college graduation. We went to Portales for the weekend and it was then that I decided that I wanted to go to college. After seeing where Margaret lived, meeting her friends, and visiting the campus with Margaret, I knew that if my college experience was anything like Margaret's, I would be happy.
My senior year in high school, Margaret was probably more excited than me about starting to look for the right university. She took off and went with me, a friend, and my mom to visit Texas A&M. She made ME excited about going to school!
I don't know if I ever told her how much it truly meant for me to come to my college graduation. It was so special that she made such a big effort to gather up the kids and Jeremey to drive over three hours to Nacogdoches after a full day at work. They then got up early the next morning to sit in a muggy colisseum for my few seconds of fame as my name was called and I walked across the stage. Once we got back to my house, I was expecting them to say goodbye and head out. But Margaret and Jeremey saw that I was an emotional wreck and volunteered to stick around and help me and my parents pack up my things so I could move back home. Margaret was always one of the most selfless and giving people I knew.
Margaret was always doing selfless things, simply to show someone that she loved them. My sophmore year of high school, my mom was diagnosed with colon cancer. She had to have major surgery and was in the hospital for quite sometime in the fall. It just so happened that she was going to be in the hospital over my high school's homecoming. Knowing that there were other things to worry about, I didn't mention anything. But Margaret did not want me to miss out. She and Stephanee, her best friend, came to our house on the night of the event. They helped me get ready, did my make up, re-styled my hair after I hated what the stylist did, and took lots of pictures. Margaret not only didn't want me to miss out, but she didn't want my mom to miss the event.
Margaret also influenced me in the smallest ways too. I realized that I always try to keep clear or a natural color paint on my fingernails, because that's what she did. Somehow, it's like I thought that if I kept my nails painted, I could be beautiful, like her.
I always wanted to be like her. She seemed to have everything that I could have ever wanted.
In her room in Carlsbad, Margaret had a trundle bed that I loved. As a kid, I always wanted a trundle bed so I could be as cool as her. She also had a vanity in her room. When we used to visit Carlsbad, I would sneak off in her room and sit at her vanity. I would pretend I was putting on make-up, getting ready for a big date or a night out with my friends. I wanted to be just my beauitful Aunt Margaret.
When I was in seventh grade at a brand new junior high, I somehow got the guts to run for student council. Why? Because Margaret was student body president at her university. And I wanted to be like her. In fact, when I won the student council election, Margaret bought me a charm bracelet with my first charm, a gavel. I still treasure that charm bracelet.
Margaret collected crosses, so I started to collect them too. I seemed to think that only "cool" people collected crosses, and I wanted to be cool, like Margaret.
Margaret's wedding to Jeremey will forever be the ideal wedding to me. Even now, many years later, I always compare every wedding to hers. In my opinion, she had the most beautiful and most incredible wedding I have ever been to. I can only wish that my wedding will be as magical and perfect as hers was.
She used to have a standard car. I used to love to ride around with her, with Green Day playing in the background while she let me change gears whenever she would say, "shift!" I thought I was so cool. I wanted a manual car for a long time for that reason.
I remember a lot about her.
When we were young, my brother and I used to go up to Carlsbad for a week every summer. I remember one time when she was driving me and my brother back to Carlsbad. We spent the whole eight hours making up silly rules for the car ride. Some of our silly rules included if you needed to pass gas, you would have to stick your rear out the window while one of us held your hand. She also made it clear that there would be no asking "how much further" or an excessive amount of pit stops.That's one big thing Margaret taught me, to live your life in each moment. Don't simply let it pass you by, but enjoy every minute of it.
Apparently when Margaret was really young, she had quite the imagination. She made up an original song to sing while taking a shower. I made it my mission one summer to have her teach me that song. Even to this day, everytime I go to some sort of camp or retreat, I always teach the people I am with Margaret's shower song. Most of the girls from my home church can sing this song by heart too, because they have heard it so much.
But Margaret did not just make an impact on me when I was younger. In the recent years, I have found myself idolizing her in numerous ways. She showed me how to be a woman of character and integrity. She was a working woman and a devoted mom. She sought hard after the Lord and encouraged me in pursuing work in the ministry.
In this whole situation, I think what breaks my heart the most is the kids. Gretchen and Barton may not remember their mom as I do. In a way, I feel guilty that I knew Margaret so well. But I have decided that I do not simply want to be a cousin to Gretchen and Barton. I want to be like Margaret and go the extra mile so they know that I love them. And hopefully, they will catch a glimpse of their beautiful mom in me.
Over the last couple of days, I have been reminded of so many different ways that Margaret has influenced my life.
She has done big things in my life, like influencing me to go to college.
Margaret was a lot of the reason I wanted to go to college. I remember one Christmas when she got us all ENMU shirts. I loved that T-shirt. I can vividly picture her college graduation. We went to Portales for the weekend and it was then that I decided that I wanted to go to college. After seeing where Margaret lived, meeting her friends, and visiting the campus with Margaret, I knew that if my college experience was anything like Margaret's, I would be happy.
My senior year in high school, Margaret was probably more excited than me about starting to look for the right university. She took off and went with me, a friend, and my mom to visit Texas A&M. She made ME excited about going to school!
I don't know if I ever told her how much it truly meant for me to come to my college graduation. It was so special that she made such a big effort to gather up the kids and Jeremey to drive over three hours to Nacogdoches after a full day at work. They then got up early the next morning to sit in a muggy colisseum for my few seconds of fame as my name was called and I walked across the stage. Once we got back to my house, I was expecting them to say goodbye and head out. But Margaret and Jeremey saw that I was an emotional wreck and volunteered to stick around and help me and my parents pack up my things so I could move back home. Margaret was always one of the most selfless and giving people I knew.
Margaret was always doing selfless things, simply to show someone that she loved them. My sophmore year of high school, my mom was diagnosed with colon cancer. She had to have major surgery and was in the hospital for quite sometime in the fall. It just so happened that she was going to be in the hospital over my high school's homecoming. Knowing that there were other things to worry about, I didn't mention anything. But Margaret did not want me to miss out. She and Stephanee, her best friend, came to our house on the night of the event. They helped me get ready, did my make up, re-styled my hair after I hated what the stylist did, and took lots of pictures. Margaret not only didn't want me to miss out, but she didn't want my mom to miss the event.
Margaret also influenced me in the smallest ways too. I realized that I always try to keep clear or a natural color paint on my fingernails, because that's what she did. Somehow, it's like I thought that if I kept my nails painted, I could be beautiful, like her.
I always wanted to be like her. She seemed to have everything that I could have ever wanted.
In her room in Carlsbad, Margaret had a trundle bed that I loved. As a kid, I always wanted a trundle bed so I could be as cool as her. She also had a vanity in her room. When we used to visit Carlsbad, I would sneak off in her room and sit at her vanity. I would pretend I was putting on make-up, getting ready for a big date or a night out with my friends. I wanted to be just my beauitful Aunt Margaret.
When I was in seventh grade at a brand new junior high, I somehow got the guts to run for student council. Why? Because Margaret was student body president at her university. And I wanted to be like her. In fact, when I won the student council election, Margaret bought me a charm bracelet with my first charm, a gavel. I still treasure that charm bracelet.
Margaret collected crosses, so I started to collect them too. I seemed to think that only "cool" people collected crosses, and I wanted to be cool, like Margaret.
Margaret's wedding to Jeremey will forever be the ideal wedding to me. Even now, many years later, I always compare every wedding to hers. In my opinion, she had the most beautiful and most incredible wedding I have ever been to. I can only wish that my wedding will be as magical and perfect as hers was.
She used to have a standard car. I used to love to ride around with her, with Green Day playing in the background while she let me change gears whenever she would say, "shift!" I thought I was so cool. I wanted a manual car for a long time for that reason.
I remember a lot about her.
When we were young, my brother and I used to go up to Carlsbad for a week every summer. I remember one time when she was driving me and my brother back to Carlsbad. We spent the whole eight hours making up silly rules for the car ride. Some of our silly rules included if you needed to pass gas, you would have to stick your rear out the window while one of us held your hand. She also made it clear that there would be no asking "how much further" or an excessive amount of pit stops.That's one big thing Margaret taught me, to live your life in each moment. Don't simply let it pass you by, but enjoy every minute of it.
Apparently when Margaret was really young, she had quite the imagination. She made up an original song to sing while taking a shower. I made it my mission one summer to have her teach me that song. Even to this day, everytime I go to some sort of camp or retreat, I always teach the people I am with Margaret's shower song. Most of the girls from my home church can sing this song by heart too, because they have heard it so much.
But Margaret did not just make an impact on me when I was younger. In the recent years, I have found myself idolizing her in numerous ways. She showed me how to be a woman of character and integrity. She was a working woman and a devoted mom. She sought hard after the Lord and encouraged me in pursuing work in the ministry.
In this whole situation, I think what breaks my heart the most is the kids. Gretchen and Barton may not remember their mom as I do. In a way, I feel guilty that I knew Margaret so well. But I have decided that I do not simply want to be a cousin to Gretchen and Barton. I want to be like Margaret and go the extra mile so they know that I love them. And hopefully, they will catch a glimpse of their beautiful mom in me.
1 comment:
Ashlee, I know the pain of losing a cousin.
My cousin Deandrea died 4 years ago of cancer when she was 33.
I too remember specific things from my childhood and wanting to be like her... you are not alone.
you and your family are in my prayers.
<3
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