This week has been insane. One might say it has been a week from Hell. I have had my fair share of breakdowns over the past few days. But one thing that came from it, my mind is going full speed..
Like..do you think God can be absent from only one area of your life? I know there are numerous accounts in scripture where God is completely absent from a person's life. But I have yet to find an instance where God is alive and active in someone's life in all areas but one... So I find myself in this exact predicament and am beginning to lose hope. God is doing so many amazing things in most areas of my life. And I am so thankful for that. But in one, JUST ONE, I don't even feel like He hears me. Can that be true?
I wish I didn't care. Someone, please tell me that at times, you have this exact phrase run through your head, "Man, if I wasn't a Christian, I would definitly....." I have been thinking this alot lately..does that make me a bad person? This surpressed bitterness and anger has recently surfaced, only to make me more bitter and angry.
I am failing to see Christ in this. Scriptures have been pointed out that say things like "God only does this to those He loves," and "Discipline isnt pleasurable, but its worth it in the end."
Well I am tired of hearing that. I want someone to sit with me and say "You are right... this sucks.." I want someone to cry with me.. to hurt with me... to feel as awkward as I do at times. I guess its true that misery loves company. And it is only understandable that noone feels the need to join me in this not-so-pleasant endeavor. Oh well. I guess I will just have to wait "til it gets better."
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2 comments:
i think everyone thinks that. that's what temptation is all about, right? maybe?
i definitely don't know what's going on, but i would be fairly confident that i could agree with you that it does suck. just like a lot of life does.
"No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it."
1 corinthians 10:13
can i just say that its ok to have these feelings? you may already know this but its been a relatively recent idea for me... its ok to be angry, sad, lonely... and all those so-called "bad feelings" its just what you do with them and how you handle them that counts. i say that if you feel sad, then go ahead and feel it! just dont let sin come from it. does that make sense? i think that as Christians, we almost are taught that being mad and stuff is bad... but you know, jesus was mad... he was sad and he was definitely lonely before. i bet he said, "this sucks" except... maybe in the form of "father, why have you forsaken me?"
...sorry if this didnt help and i am just rambling.
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