Three days from now, I will be heading for Austria. I felt like this would never come. I am so excited to lead my first trip with Go Now! BUT IT'S A LOT OF WORK! I feel like I still have so many last minute details to take care of. I find myself going over the camp schedule with a fine-toothed comb multiple times a day. I have a great fear that we will get over there and I will have forgotten to do something.

I feel like I have to prove myself! I don't know know what I am trying to prove or who I am trying to prove it to!

But if you think about it, send up a quick prayer for me and my team.

Pray for health. I am pretty sure I have a sinus infection that has set up camp in my head. With a lack of a "real" job right now comes a lack of insurance. I am REALLY praying that this whole mess will clear up before I am stuck in a pressurized plane for a long period of time.

Pray for the girls on my team. They all seem SO AMAZING. I can't wait to get to know them more. Two of them have started their own blogs so they can keep others up to speed with what's going on in Austria. Ask the Lord to protect them over the next couple of weeks.

Pray for the children that will be coming to the English camp. Most of them do not have any sort of evangelical background. Though this is not a "Christian camp," we will be telling Bible stories everyday, as well as seeking opportunities to share the gospel.

Pray for the church that we will be working at. The people of the church seem to have such an incredible heart for the un-churched in their community. Pray that they would seize every opportunity to connect with families during camp.

Pray for the teenagers that are "volunteering" during camp. In reality, these are teenagers that have gone to the camp in the past, but are now too old for camp. Therefore, they CHOOSE to come back and WORK, because they like it THAT MUCH! I have a strong feeling in my heart that this is where we will see a lot of opportunities during camp.

I guess that's it for now!

It's funny how things work out.

Just yesterday, I was driving back to the good ol' Merce after being home for Father's Day Weekend. I had the windows down (still no AC) and some good tunes playing loud. And I thought to myself, "I'm pretty happy with my life right now."

A year ago, I would have never guessed that I would end up in Commerce, much less actually LIKE it in this area. And just a couple of months ago, I thought that was all going to change!

I know it's been a bit of a rough year, but life out here is pleasant. It's just a little slower...everyone knows everybody, so naturally, you wave to everyone as you are driving. I LOVE my church and the hearts of the people there. I love that a lot of people out here work on their dairy farms every morning before anything else. There's a strong importance put on families out here, which I love.

Question is...when it REALLY is time for me to go, next summer, will I want to stay?

Thankful Thursday

Missed me last week? I was in Colorado for high school camp, which was AMAZING! Maybe more on that later.

I am VERY thankful for Chicken Express sweet tea. It somehow makes everything better when I am in a bad mood. I'm pretty sure that it will be in Heaven....in abundance.

I am also very thankful for my mom, who is willing to call me FORTY-ONE times in one morning to make sure I get up in time to get to VBS!

I am reminded how thankful I am for air conditioning. I don't have AC in my car, and haven't in quite a while. I'm not sure when I'm going to be able to get it fixed. But it's rather frustrating. I often can't wait to get into a building, simply for it's AC.

Lastly, I am VERY thankful that I live by myself. I love that I can come home after a long day and take a nap if I want... Or I can spread out all my stuff for Austria all over my living room and leave it there for days until I come back to it.

Thankful Thursday

Today, I am reminded how thankful I am that I have a car. With all the crazy events that have taken place over the past week, I was at home yesterday on "phone patrol." I had to basically sit at home all day so I could answer the phone when someone called. Well, if you know me at all, I'm not much of a sitter. By the end of the day, I felt like I was on house arrest. I was so thankful when more of the fam came home and I was able to get out! I went to a dollar movie (by myself) just to get the heck out!

I'm also thankful for a best friend who I can spend all night sitting in Braum's with...just laughing and talking about life. While we were there tonight, she even mentioned "You know, we could be out at a bar, drinking. But instead, we are here at Braum's in our scrubs having a grand time." I concur Liz, I concur.

Lastly, today I am thankful that I have my own room at my parents house. Though I sometimes get frustrated when I come home because it looks more like my mom's closet than my bedroom, it IS still mine. It is still my safe place... a place where I can hunker down in when I just need some time by myself, whether it be for a nap, to read, or whatever.

If you know me at all, you know I'm pretty much obsessed with Jon and Kate plus 8. And just like most fans, I was pretty upset about all the scandal surrounding their marriage. However, I just read an article in Christianity Today written by Julie Elliott called "The Gospel and the Gosselins" that shed a whole new light on it. I think she makes some good points about Christian's love and hate for Jon and Kate and what that says about our faith.

If you have recently stood in line at the grocery store and glanced at the tabloid covers, chances are you have seen the faces of reality TV stars Jon and Kate Gosselin. Jon and Kate are stars of the wildly popular TLC show Jon & Kate Plus Eight, which documents the life of this Pennsylvania couple as they raise their eight children, 8-year-old twins and 5-year-old sextuplets. Until recently, Jon and Kate were celebrated as models of wholesome family values. Sure, they bickered a lot, but they were committed to staying together for the long haul. Indeed, last season featured them renewing their wedding vows on the beach in Hawaii. Such commitment endeared them to the watching public and made them TLC's most profitable commodity.

Of all the viewers who followed the Gosselins, evangelicals were among the most faithful. Jon and Kate's refusal to resort to "selective reduction" when they found themselves pregnant with sextuplets, their membership in an Assemblies of God church, and their Isaiah 40:31 T-shirts all helped to make them icons of evangelical piety. Churches from across the country clamored to be added to their speaking tours. In the last two years the vast majority of Jon and Kate's presentations took place at Christian conferences or at evangelical churches, most often Baptist, nondenominational or charismatic.

Zondervan, one of the foremost evangelical presses, published two books with the Gosselins, both of which hit the New York Times bestseller list. The popular tongue-in-cheek blog Stuff Christians Like listed "Watching Jon and Kate Plus 8" on its list of favored Christian products or activities. Evangelicals dependably tuned in to the television show as the family received free trips to posh resorts, when the couple underwent plastic surgery, and when they moved from a comfortable house in the suburbs to a sprawling estate in the country. If they noticed that Jon and Kate's family and friends—most notably Aunt Jodi and Beth—were, one by one, being estranged from the family (reportedly over financial disputes), it did not stop believers from looking to this couple for inspiration on how to be a good Christian family.

Then everything changed. Reports surfaced that Jon was out partying with co-eds and getting too friendly with a 23-year-old teacher. Shortly thereafter the tabloids claimed that Kate was having an affair with her bodyguard and that she had given Jon the go-ahead to see other women, as long as he showed up for filming. The truthfulness of all of these claims has yet to be established. But one thing is clear—the marriage is crumbling. In fact, on the season five premiere, which aired on Memorial Day, the couple expressed no love for one another and made no promises about being together in the future. Both appeared ready to file for divorce.

Viewers, and especially evangelical viewers, are aghast. How could such a loving, Christian family disintegrate so quickly? Is the failure of their marriage due to the stress of parenting multiples? Can it be attributed to Kate's love of celebrity versus Jon's desire to retreat from the limelight? Might it be the result of living under constant (albeit self-imposed) surveillance? I suspect that each of these theories tell part of the story. But the story that has not been told is the one that sees in Jon and Kate the shortcomings of evangelical piety itself.

We evangelicals tend to be easily impressed. We cheered on Jon and Kate's decision to carry all six babies to term but rarely considered the prior question: Was it right for them to undergo risky fertility treatments in the first place? They had been married only a matter of months when Kate, who was in her mid-20s at the time, took fertility medication to stimulate her ovaries for intrauterine insemination and became pregnant with their twins, Cara and Mady.

Only a few years later, Kate's ovaries were stimulated once again, but this time they were hyper-stimulated. Warned by their doctor during an ultrasound examination that the fertility medication had worked a little too well and that four mature follicles were present, Jon and Kate nonetheless went ahead with the insemination. Apparently their doctor had miscounted on that fateful day, because Kate soon discovered that she was pregnant with seven embryos (one of which miscarried a short time later). Six babies were growing in a space designed for one, posing great risks to the life of each baby as well as to the life of their mother. Faced with this unintended but preventable situation, Jon and Kate were right to carry all of the babies to term. But this decision is not enough to warrant their status as models of Christian faithfulness. That most evangelicals were satisfied to celebrate the end—six miraculous lives—rather than assess the morality of the means whereby those lives were created, betrays the thinness of evangelical reflection on reproductive ethics. Too often our ethics have focused so singularly on the question of abortion that we have given comparatively little attention to the morally-significant issues surrounding infertility, reproductive technology, childbirth, and parenting. As such, we have a hard time challenging the assumptions of our consumerist culture or those who, like Jon and Kate, seem to be beholden to it.

As fellow Christians, we should have reminded the Gosselins that life is a gift to be received in gratitude, not something to be grasped, purchased, or sold. In many ways, the last four seasons of Jon & Kate Plus Eight is the story of a family that seemed to progressively lose sight of this truth. Of course, they had help along the way from TLC, from the show's producers, and not least of all, from their Christian viewers.

When the first few episodes revealed the earning potential of this "everyday family," Jon & Kate Plus Eight became a brand name that was packaged and sold. And many Christians were happy to comply by opening up their wallets and their fellowship halls. When the network and the couple were not satisfied with the money generated through high ratings and book sales, the Gosselin home was filled with product placements and the children were filmed for long hours each week. All the while many (though not all) evangelicals watched with undiscerning eyes. Somewhere along the line we, like Jon and Kate, seemed to forget the warnings of 1 Timothy 6:9-10:

But those who want to be rich fall into temptation and are trapped by many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, and in their eagerness to be rich some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pains. (NRSV)

It was not until the recent allegations of sexual impropriety arose that a significant number of Christians began to question whether Jon and Kate were indeed the examples of faithful living that we had imagined. Somehow most of us missed the long trajectory that was, day by day, moving them farther from a life of Christian virtue. Sexual immorality—whether actual or merely suspected—caught our attention, but the materialism, narcissism, and exploitation of children that preceded it was largely overlooked.

As such, the breakdown of Jon and Kate's marriage is but a symptom of the larger weaknesses of ethics in the evangelical community. We are easily seduced by wealth and fame. We are easily contented by the shallow rhetoric of hot-button issues. In short, we are easily deceived by cultural values painted in Christian veneers (or clothed in Isaiah 40:31 T-shirts).

The hope for us—and the hope of Jon and Kate—is to turn once again to the rich, complex, and difficult ethics of Jesus and to let those ethics form us into a more discerning people in the world. It is time that we look for role models who value self-sacrifice over material gain. It is time that we practice forgiveness and the healing of broken relationships and call fellow Christians to do the same. It is time that we take our own marriage vows seriously and hold our brothers and sisters to be true to their commitments as well. Most importantly, it is time that we develop a view of faith and life that is capable of asking deep questions and courageous enough to embody real answers. Then, and only then, will Christians have something to offer the world and something to offer Jon & Kate Plus Eight.

Julie Vermeer Elliott is a faculty member at Eastern University, St. Davids, PA, where she teaches courses in Christian ethics and interdisciplinary studies and directs advising and first-year programs. She holds a master of theological studies degree from Duke Divinity School.

"Speaking Out" is Christianity Today's guest opinion column and (unlike an editorial) does not necessarily represent the opinion of the publication.

Found this on Bleecker's Blog ...it's worth reading


RELIGION: I obey-therefore I’m accepted.

THE GOSPEL: I’m accepted-therefore I obey.

RELIGION: Motivation is based on fear and insecurity.

THE GOSPEL: Motivation is based on grateful joy.

RELIGION: I obey God in order to get things from God.

THE GOSPEL: I obey God to get to God-to delight and resemble Him.

RELIGION: When circumstances in my life go wrong, I am angry at God or my self, since I believe, like Job’s friends that anyone who is good deserves a comfortable life.

THE GOSPEL: When circumstances in my life go wrong, I struggle but I know all my punishment fell on Jesus and that while he may allow this for my training, he will exercise his Fatherly love within my trial.

RELIGION: When I am criticized I am furious or devastated because it is critical that I think of myself as a ‘good person’. Threats to that self-image must be destroyed at all costs

THE GOSPEL: When I am criticized I struggle, but it is not critical for me to think of myself as a ‘good person.’ My identity is not built on my record or my performance but on God’s love for me in Christ. I can take criticism.

RELIGION: My prayer life consists largely of petition and it only heats up when I am in a time of need. My main purpose in prayer is control of the environment.

THE GOSPEL: My prayer life consists of generous stretches of praise and adoration. My main purpose is fellowship with Him.

RELIGION: My self-view swings between two poles. If and when I am living up to my standards, I feel confident, but then I am prone to be proud and unsympathetic to failing people. If and when I am not living up to standards, I feel insecure and inadequate. I’m not confident. I feel like a failure.

THE GOSPEL: My self-view is not based on a view of my self as a moral achiever. In Christ I am “simul iustus et peccator”—simultaneously sinful and yet accepted in Christ. I am so bad he had to die for me and I am so loved he was glad to die for me. This leads me to deeper and deeper humility and confidence at the same time. Neither swaggering nor sniveling.

RELIGION: My identity and self-worth are based mainly on how hard I work. Or how moral I am, and so I must look down on those I perceive as lazy or immoral. I disdain and feel superior to ‘the other.’

THE GOSPEL: My identity and self-worth are centered on the one who died for His enemies, who was excluded from the city for me. I am saved by sheer grace. So I can’t look down on those who believe or practice something different from me. Only by grace I am what I am. I’ve no inner need to win arguments.

RELIGION: Since I look to my own pedigree or performance for my spiritual acceptability, my heart manufactures idols. It may be my talents, my moral record, my personal discipline, my social status, etc. I absolutely have to have them so they serve as my main hope, meaning, happiness, security, and significance, whatever I may say I believe about God.

THE GOSPEL: I have many good things in my life—family, work, spiritual disciplines, etc. But none of these good things are ultimate things to me. None of them are things I absolutely have to have, so there is a limit to how much anxiety, bitterness, and despondency they can inflict on me when they are threatened and lost.

Thankful Thursday

It's times like this that I am glad for a cell phone. I am in the middle of a pretty big decision... one that I'm trying to seek wise counsel on. So I'm thankful for my handy lil' cell phone that allows me to call my mom NUMEROUS times a day, as well as calling Cheryl, Liz, and others on a daily basis..to see if the Lord has imparted any wisdom on them to pass along to me.

I am VERY thankful that this year, I have had the flexibility with work to take off when I need to. This year has been a rough one for my family, but my job at the BSM has been so flexible that I didn't have to think twice about taking off as needed when Margaret passed away or to help my parents close the shop. And now, with my job at my church, it's no big deal for me to take off (tomorrow) to work a memorial golf tournament for Margaret.

Lastly, today I reminded how thankful I am for Google reader. I am pretty much obsessed with blogs. (Maybe not so much with updating my own...) With Google Reader, I am able to go to ONE PLACE to catch up on all my blogs, instead of tracking each one down individually. I gotta say, Google, that was a brilliant idea.

Simplified Missional Living

* Eat with non-Christians
* Walk, don't drive ,around your neighborhood when possible.
* Be a "regular" at your local coffee shop, restaurant, market, hair cut, etc
* Hobby with non-Christians - find extra curriculars that you enjoy that you can do with all kinds of people
* Develop relationships with your co-workers and pray for them
* Volunteer with a non-profit once a month, and bring your family, friends and small group too!
* Instead of watching TV or playing XBOX, participate in city events, get in the mix
* Serve your neighbors - like weeding and fixing their cars.

Above all, strike-up conversations, be friendly, say "hi, my name's BLANK. What's your name?"

-- this was posted on the Catalyst blog...after they took it from the Resurgence blog

A blog I read, Straight Up, posted something I liked the other day... thought I'd share.

I Want the Whole Gospel

Every single ounce of truth; give it to me straight just like it is in the Bible.

I want the whole gospel:
Don’t dilute the living water—it might not quench my thirsty soul.

I want the whole gospel:
Turn on the light of Jesus Christ and don’t shield my view—I need every beam of His radiant glory to dispel the darkness in me.

I want the whole gospel:
Don’t block the door, or I might not get through.

I want the whole gospel:
I need an accurate map to the narrow road, because only a few are finding it.

I want the whole gospel:
Because I am wholly lost, God’s verdict is wholly just, and my damnation is wholly certain.
My heart is wholly depraved and my sin is wholly mine.
My efforts are wholly futile and my escapes are wholly hopeless.
I need a whole Savior, whose whole suffering, wholly satisfies a holy God.

Please, please don’t cut the corners. It’s appointed unto man once to die and I have to be sure I get it right.

I have to have the whole gospel—give it to me straight. Nothing else will do!

Yes…God help us, let’s give the whole gospel.

mothers day survey

I really love it when my mom scratches my back or plays with my hair.

My mom likes to make others feel loved.

My mom always tells me, "I'm proud of you and I love you very much!"

The best thing she does is listens to me when I am having a bad day.

It makes her happy when she and I get to hang out... like shop, or get Starbucks...whatever

My mom loves to relax by watching weird TV shows :)

I like it when I am home and she wakes me up by coming and sitting on my bed and rubbing my back

The best thing she cooks is green chile enchiladas, chicken tortilla soup,

When my mom shops she likes to buy shoes!!!!

My mom’s favorite household chore is cleaning the bathroom (it's not really her fave...but it's the one she is most anal about!)

My mom’s favorite TV show is Ghost Whisperer....

If she could go on a trip, she would go to the beach!

I love my mom because she is always there for me... shes the best mom ever!

Thankful Thursday

I skipped Thankful Thursday last week... I doubt you missed it that much too much

But no worries...I'm back now.

This Thursday, I would like to highlight to awesome guys that I am eternally thankful for. Jeremy McMahan and Joel Halpin. I am constantly reminded by people at my home church (SGBC) how lucky I am to have had these two men invest so much in me (and others) during the critical times of my teenage years.


Jeremy was there as I wrestled with the idea of handing my life over to Christ and letting Him be the Lord of my life. He helped me realize my need for the grace of Christ as I decided to accept the amazing gift He offered. He and his wife, Catherine, truly poured all of their lives into me and my friends. He encouraged me through some pretty dark times in my life. I am so very thankful for Jeremy.






Joel came to SGBC during my senior year in high school. I was actually on the search committee that brought him in! I am VERY thankful for the role that Joel has played in my life. Though I was only a part of his youth group for a year, it was a very critical year in my life. I had some big decisions to make, and he gave me wisdom and guidance during those periods. Even after I graduated and went off to school, he continued to play a large role in my spiritual life. I would call or email him with random questions, knowing that he wouldn't think I was stupid or silly, no matter how far out the question was. (This idea turned out to be false...as he laughed at my question about the Garden of Eden last summer!! ) I came back to SGBC as Joel's youth intern. He gave me my first opportunity to work in ministry. It was a tough summer, to say the least, but he guided and encouraged me. He was even a good sport when I decorated his office in pink! With Joel, there was Erica, which was an added bonus! By having them in my life, I have seen what a Godly marriage looks like, how to raise children in a Christ-centered (and super fun) way, and how to let your life be a ministry.

Bottom line, I am so very lucky to have been discipled by these two guys and I am extremely thankful for all the ways they have poured into me.

A weekend in Nac

It was my first time to go back to Nac after the not-so-fun weekend I had right after graduation. I was pretty apprehensive about it. I knew I would have a good time. It was Maribeth's birthday and there was a surprise party going on, which I was sure would be fun. I would get the chance to see some friends that I hadn't seen in a pretty long time, and I was pretty stoked about that. But there were also a few things I was extremely apprehensive about...

...So much so that I would start thinking about it...over-analyzing it... and my chest would get extremely tight, so much so that it was difficult to breathe. I would sweat profusely. It was an all-around unpleasant experience.

There was one specific person that I was particularly anxious about crossing paths with. I had prepared myself for the fated reunion...well, I thought I did. When they didn't show up, I was oddly let down.

As I left Nacogdoches on Sunday, I did a lot of thinking. Nac wasn't the same as when I graduated. So much as changed, and not just the landmarks. The people are different. I'm definitely different (which I am extremely thankful for). But for some weird reason, I had a short breakdown. I knew that Nac would never be the same. Even just going back is kind of bittersweet. It reminds me of so many good memories, but also of many not-so-good ones. (Maybe because the last year seemed to be filled with more not-so-good ones).

Either way, I'm glad I went to Nac, but glad that I waited so long to return.

I wonder

One of the blogs I follow, Ragamuffin Soul posted something amazing the other day...and I thought I'd share

I wonder.
I wonder how many people, if we actually asked them, keep coming back to our churches because of our stellar Sunday productions.
I wonder if we ask the right people.
I wonder if we stopped, for a while, if people would keep coming.
I wonder if we turned off the lights and pulled the band if more people would come or go.
I wonder if we flipped the teaching time and music time, if it would matter.
I wonder if first time visitors are more concerned with what happens outside the auditorium than what happens inside it.
I wonder if the things we’ve rebelled against are the exact things we’ve become.
I wonder if church buildings will ever be used more than 2% a week.
I wonder if there has been more energy put into our Easter weekend services than our neighbors on the left and right.

I wonder with all the talk of social justice, why those friends keep walking by homeless people without even a smile.
I wonder when we will stop arguing about how to run the church and begin to start running our families.
I wonder how disrespected my dad feels by my generation of preachers saying his way is the wrong way.
I wonder how disrespected my generation of preachers will feel when our kids say our way is the wrong way.
I wonder when chenis envy will be replaced with prayer for others to succeed.
I wonder if churches without buildings will ever realize how good they have it.
I wonder when church planting became an industry.
I wonder if we know that our opinions are just that, opinions.
I wonder if those who say my church is an inch deep and a mile wide know that they would actually drown in the inch we provide.

Thankful Thursday (a day late)

I know I am over a day late from posting my Thankful Thursday post of the week...but better late than never, right??

I am so thankful for my church, FBC Sulphur Springs. It is definitely the biggest church I have been a part of. And the first two weeks were not ideal (noone spoke to me...not in SS or in worship). But I tried one more week, and have loved it ever since. I have gotten connected with some amazing families, which I will be eternally thankful for. FBC SS is a big family-oriented church. And when you don't have a family to sit with in worship, it can get kinda awkward, but there are some families that always look out for me and invite me to just jump on in with their family.

And then today, I was so encouraged. I heard that some people from church were roofing a house, so I jumped on board with it. We got out there this afternoon, and there were men and women who had TAKEN OFF WORK to VOLUNTEER to take down and put up a roof for a guy that really needs it. It was incredible.

So all in all..I am thankful for my church.

While I'm Waiting....

So the last month has brought some uncertainty as far as my future goes. I found out a couple of weeks ago that the state convention has cut it's budget and though my original plan was to stay in Commerce for another year, I am basically out of a job at the end of May.

Dang it.

And I felt like I was finally getting in the groove of things. I was finally comfortable. And God just yanks the rug right out from under me.

There are a couple of options...

1. We have sent out support letters, with the hope of raising financial support so I can stick around another year.

2. I have my teaching certificate and have started applying for teaching jobs. I am applying in the Dallas area, but also around the Commerce/Sulphur Springs area. In a perfect world (that involves teaching), I would love to stay around here. I LOVE the people I have met here. I would really miss one-on-one discipleship with some of the students. And I REALLY LOVE my church.

so thats whats up... i'd appreciate any prayers you could spare...

Thankful Thursday

So a few other blogs I follow post something they are thankful for on Thursdays. I thought I'd follow their lead.

Today, I am reminded that I should be thankful that I live in America in 2009. In case you were unaware, I am a pretty independent, self-sufficient person. I don't really like people telling me what to do and I DEFINITELY am not a fan of someone telling me what/how to think. Over the past few weeks, I have read so much on different topics. I try to always look into all sides of any topic, hoping to form my opinion on my own. I am very thankful that I live in a place and time where that's the norm. I don't have to believe something simply because someone tells me to. In fact, I am EXPECTED to take what they say and form my own opinion after looking further into it.

Hooray for that.

Beach Reach was last week...more on that later.

I'm talking to a friend now, a friend from SFA. Dear ol' Lauren Radtke, oh how I love thee haven't actually seen the girl since..... MAY?!?!?!? But she is still one of my dearest friends. Even when she was studying in Costa Rica for the summer, then Argentina in the fall, we still made a point to keep in touch. Now THAT'S a friend.

I remember when I first met Rad....at Burger Bash my junior year at SFA. It was her first week at SFA as a freshmen. She came to the BSM Burger Bash and we connected pretty well. We ended up becoming pretty good friends over the next year. Her sophomore year, my senior year, we led a small group Bible study together.

Honestly, I don't know what I would have done without Radtke during those last months at SFA. It seemed that all of my other friendships that I had built up over the past four years had already fizzled out. But she didn't. I was a wreck most of the time during that last semester. But she still loved me and was my friend, a true friend. I don't know how many times I called her, crying about the hurt or pain caused by relationships, and she would calm me down then make me laugh with an inappropriate joke! :)

It's funny how some friendships fade. You can continue to put effort into them, but if it's not meant to be, it will simply fade out. But not with Radtke. I know some friends are meant to be in your life for a short season, but after talking to Radtke tonight, I am sure that she is one that will stick around. Heck, she has stuck around this long.... may as well stick around a little more.

It's so weird

Today marked the end of 17 years. Today, A&B Tire closed it's doors for the last time.

It's crazy to think that the place my dad has worked so hard to build and keep up for the last seventeen years is no more. But with the downfall of the economy, this is a decision that is long overdue.

So today, my mom and I took off and spent the day in Greenville with my dad. We took down and packed up all personal momentos. We loaded up the plaques and pictures. But really, we reminisced.

I feel like that place was so much of my childhood. I remember when he first opened the business and Bubba and I would go down the Greenville so we could shoot commercials. We used to ride the car lifts up and down, up and down, up and down. We never grew tired of it. We used to LOVE to open up the vending machine and coke machine to get a snack out. I would go to work with dad and my job was putting orders into the computer. I also LOVED to wash the blue off the white wall tires. Bubba would go out and do service calls on the road. The highlight of our day with dad would be when the "roach coach" came and dad would buy us something terrible, yet delicious.

I hated driving away from A&B Tire for the last time. But I know without a shadow of a doubt that this is what my family needs to do. I am looking forward to getting my dad back...not the stressed out, grumpy, overwhelmed guy that's been at home for the past few years.

And just for the record....I thought about riding the car lift one more time...but didnt.

This was posted on another blog I read...and I thought it was definitely worth sharing.



I saw something very touching last night.
Or maybe heartbreaking is a better word.

As I was going down into the chilly subway station to wait for the train, a man was standing on the platform close to the wall.

From my quick peripheral observation (which I sadly have mastered since living here) I could tell he was, or looked, homeless or very poor.

The assumption seemed to be confirmed when I heard him mumbling something to people as they passed by him.

To each person he mumbled the same phrase.

I couldn't tell what he was saying, which probably meant (I thought) he was drunk or a little crazy and wasn't saying anything intelligible at all.

This assessment happened in about 2 seconds time as I approached him, seeing the person in front of me pass on by, not even glancing his way.

I passed by, not even glancing his way.

I felt a pang of guilt. (Guilt or the Holy Spirit convicting me?)

I heard a man's voice behind me say kindly,
"What is it you need, Sir?"

I turned around and saw the whole scene.

The man who didn't pass by was a business-looking man... clean cut, long nice dress coat.

Again, the man mumbled his line.
The man who didn't pass by asked him to repeat himself because he couldn't understand.

Finally he heard, and I heard, what the man what saying...
"Would you mind doing me a small favor?"

"Sure, what can I do for you?"
(He was just as uncomfortable as the rest of us would have been in the same situation. You could tell he was painfully aware of all the others on the platform staring at the scene, and aware of the potential hazards in stopping... but he stayed)

"Sir, would you mind zipping up my jacket? I'm crippled and can't do it on my own."

Immediately his handicap became obvious... a shriveled hand and forearm stuck up against his chest.

The man who didn't pass by proceeded to move in close... as close as you would have to be to zip someone's jacket zipper.
That's a pretty intimate process... way beyond the boundaries of personal space... it's something parents do for their small children who are not yet able.
He fumbled for a few seconds with the zipper on the man's dirty maroon jacket, and proceeded to zip it up. There they stood, face to face.

The crippled man was obviously touched, saying, "Thank you so much, Sir, thank you so much."

The train pulled up.
I stepped in the same car as the man who didn't pass by, and I could hear the crippled man yell again, "Thank you so much, Sir!"

As we pulled away from the station, we saw through the window the crippled man still standing where he had been.

I looked over and saw (what looked like) tears in the eyes of the man who didn't pass by.
I said to him, "That was really amazing what you just did."

He looked down sadly, shook his head, and sincerely said,"No, it really wasn't. I could have done so much more."

Yes, I guess he could have.
But he did so much more than any of the rest of us were willing to do.

And in his small gesture he gave something invaluable back to this man... his humanity.

He said to him, "Yes, I hear you speaking, and I care enough to stop... and to be patient and listen to what you have to say, even when it is so uncomfortable, and to put my fears aside in order to meet a need you have... in order to LOVE you. And I do this because it is what Jesus has done for me, and what He has done for you."

This beautiful, heartbreaking picture reminded me of what Jesus said about loving.

I praise the Lord today for people like this man- my husband- and pray that I would love Jesus so much that I would not pass by.

Happy Birthday Bubba...from some international students!

Last semester, Praveen, Aravind, and Yoshi met Bubba, when Bubba was in town to visit me one weekend. We all hung out one night...

... as the three of them walked into the BSM today for free lunch, they "reminded me" that today is Bubba's birthday. (I guess they saw it on Facebook) I got a brilliant idea to make a video for Bubba featuring my international friends. I thought I'd share with you too.